Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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Wind/water mill pepper grinder and grader

Grinds peppercorns, sorts by fineness
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This accurate scale model of a mill is finely crafted from sustainably harvested bonsai oak trees. The millstones, 2" in diameter, are hand-chiselled Froggatt millstone grit. Organic Fair-trade peppercorns are kept in a wooden storage hopper towards the top of the structure (there is also attic space provided for hand-woven hemp sacks of spare peppercorns). The peppercorns fall under gravity to the feed mechanism of the stones. Once ground, the pepper is fed down a wooden chute to the floor beneath, where it enters a cylindrical grading device. The natural badger-bristle helical brushes sweep the pepper down through the cylindrical barrel formed from increasingly course gauze. As the pepper falls through the gauzes it collects in a series of one-inch-high secret-lap-dovetail-jointed boxwood drawers with tiny bone and brass handles.

The entire device is no more than four feet high and sits as a fascinating centrepiece to your dining table.

Power is supplied by either a waterwheel or sails, depending if your dining room has a steady breeze or a supply of constant running water. To facilitate use in more than one of your dining-rooms, the waterwheel and the windmill sails assemblies are entirely seperate from the mill structure, yet attach securely to the same mounting points and power shaft so that anyone not a true connoiseur would not be able to tell that either were not integral to the original design and construction.

The device sits in the middle of the table and, so long as the supply of water or wind is not interrupted, produces a constant stream of ground pepper in every grade, for the delictation and delight of your guests, who may at any time help themselves to pepper simply by pulling out the desired numbered drawer.

pocmloc, Apr 27 2019

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       While not without merit, we consider that this would be greatly improved if the power source were an exact scale replica of a Boulton & Watt beam engine, combined with a fondue heater.   

       For the after-dinner coffee, a combined water boiler and steam-driven coffee grinder would be excellent.
8th of 7, Apr 27 2019
  

       As written in the idea, the power source is a separate add-on unit. We also imagine a gas-fired turbogenerator on the sideboard, supplying 3phase power via overhead cables to a miniature substation on the table...
pocmloc, Apr 27 2019
  

       // sustainably harvested bonsai oak trees //   

       I've always been surprised how few products make use of bonsai wood.
mitxela, Apr 27 2019
  

       I think they were trying to develop giant bonsai for use as timber. Not sure if they got anywhere though.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 27 2019
  

       You could miniaturise giant bonsai for ease of transporting. Perhaps in seed form. Then add water.
Ian Tindale, Apr 27 2019
  

       ... and just wait.   

       What could possibly go wrong ?
8th of 7, Apr 27 2019
  
      
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