Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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"The Home"

Teach those youngsters some respect
  (+8, -4)
(+8, -4)
  [vote for,

Reality TV show where 10 healthy, cocky young 'uns with no regard for their forbears are put in an old people's home. They are made to take "medication" which simulates dementia, incontinence, and just generally to slow them down a bit. Once a month, their "family" come to visit them for an hour - yet the contestants are distressed to find they have no recollection of them; these people are, in fact, complete strangers paid to come patronise the hapless youths.

Tasks will include negotiating the living room to change TV channels, sitting motionless in a chair facing a wall for an entire day without screaming from frustration, and trying to maintain dignity with the attractive young nurses whilst being given a bath after a massive dose of laxatives.

At drawn-out, interminable intervals, they are required to vote out one contestant to "die". At the end of the series, the winner gets nothing, 'cause life's a bitch like that.

-alx, Aug 27 2001


       Why can't it be like Magestic? A game you could play in your own home . . . :) Of course I wouldn't mind an attractive nurse coming by my home for a spoonge bath.
Tain, Aug 27 2001

       [Tain] Because we can't trust the contestants to look after themselves in their own home.
-alx, Aug 28 2001

       And some government ministers in charge of health care should be made to play the parts of the home's staff. Let them experience a 12 hour night shift full of the joys of incontinence, dementia and all the rest from the cleaning-up end. Let's see how much shit they'll clean up for a nurse's wage.

Tain: My girlfriend is an attractive nurse who works in aged care. The last thing I want to remind her of is work when she comes by my home. Sorry 'bout the rant.
sirrobin, Aug 28 2001


       we've all seen government ministers playing at being homeless for a period of time why should this be any the more credible   

       is this an all british rant ?
po, Aug 28 2001

       "we've all seen government ministers playing at being homeless"   

       I think I missed that one. Unless you're talking about Peter Mandelson...
-alx, Aug 28 2001

       Sister show called "The Hood," where old white ranting-type folks are all holed up in a two-room apartment infested with rats and cockroaches, forced to eat nothing but Jack in the Box hamburgers, and ignored or feared by the rest of society. They could receive a paltry check every month until they are officially kicked off welfare and told to get a job with a preordained resume that contains a 8th-grade education and no previous job history. Each week, one contestant is chosen to "be arrested on trumped up charges," and leave the show.
Simonpf, Aug 28 2001

       Hey now, the 'hood' ain't all that bad. I mean, ma gets to come home over christmas with the good time she earns, and she alway surprise one of us by taking off her mask in the act.   

       Damn, we got the whole off-shift force o the po-lice try to be here that night. Its all good, you know? Just thank god you aint about gettin locked up in no northern irish jail -- them mostly crazy over there.
reensure, Aug 28 2001

snarfyguy, Aug 28 2001

       My guess is that you're an old fart, am I right or am I right?
HighSchoolMan, Sep 13 2001

       Depends on yr definition of "old fart". If it includes 22-year-olds, then yes.
-alx, Sep 13 2001

       Tain- Did you mean "spooge bath" or "sponge bath?" Both?
AfroAssault, Sep 15 2001

       Voted for, if only for that "no prize" part.
Tempest, Jul 18 2005


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