Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Expensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.

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car parks

create your own space on a full car park
  (+9, -7)
(+9, -7)
  [vote for,
against]

Always carry a tin of white paint in the boot of your car so that if all the spaces are taken on prime car parks you can paint your own parking area.

(PS I hold the copyright on this idea)

Sticky Partridge

maggie, Nov 13 2001

trueline http://www.colebrothers.com/trueline/
Professional road marking equipment. [pottedstu, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

(?) DIY road markings in Seattle http://seattletimes...03_traffic22m0.html
Residents painted "no parking" lines and pedestrian crossings, and put up their own stop signs. [pottedstu, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Medford, Oregon parking http://www.ci.medfo...Q.asp?CategoryID=13
$5 permit lets you paint "no parking" lines outside your house (second question). [pottedstu]

Council lifts vehicle, paints yellow lines under it http://www.mypaddin...unity-localnews.htm
They apologised when he got a parking ticket, though. [pottedstu, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

(?) Council lifts vehicle, paints yellow lines under it http://www.mypaddin...unity-localnews.htm
They apologised when he got a parking ticket, though. [pottedstu, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]

(?) Stick-on lines for model roads http://www.geocitie...an_glo//lines1.html
Need a full-size version of this. [pottedstu, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]

(?) Cullen Skink http://homepages.en...boch/html/skink.htm
Just so as you know, if you didn't already. [calum, Nov 13 2001]

Idiot Son http://www.idiotson.net/
...adding to the list. [st3f, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Famous Belgians http://www.google.c...us+belgians&spell=1
It's almost like they've got something to prove, isn't it? [hippo]

Famous Belgians http://www.famousbelgians.net/
Apparently, there are nearly 250 of them [hippo, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Famous Belgians http://www.famousbelgians.net/
Apparently, there are nearly 250 of them [jonthegeologist, Oct 17 2004]

(?) Stick-on lines for model roads http://www.geocitie...man_glo/lines1.html
Need a full-size version of this. [pottedstu, Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       If you can find the space to do it.   

       Smooth Asparagus
phoenix, Nov 13 2001
  

       I thought we decided you can't copyright an idea, didn't we?   

       Slimy Blancmange
CoolerKing, Nov 13 2001
  

       yeah   

       Yucky grouse
po, Nov 13 2001
  

       I'm sure I read this once somewhere. You could also carry a tin of black to paint out the double yellows.   

       Tacky Pheasant
arora, Nov 13 2001
  

       And a saw to take down the 'Handicap Parking' sign.   

       Limp Biscuit
phoenix, Nov 13 2001
  

       And a winch to drag cars out of their spaces.   

       Crazy Town
CoolerKing, Nov 13 2001
  

       And a team of engineers to add an extra floor to the multi-storey carp ark.   

       Idiot Son
st3f, Nov 13 2001
  

       and a fake handicap permit to park in the handicap spaces.

Venal Pettifogger
bristolz, Nov 14 2001
  

       And a large amount of quicksand to swallow the traffic warden and keep him away from your illegaly parked car.   

       Lumpy Custard
CoolerKing, Nov 14 2001
  

       and a counterfeit boot so it seems you're already about to be towed.   

       Pink Tapioca
tkeyser, Nov 14 2001
  

       and a bubbling cauldron of tarmac in case you need to lay some road to paint the parking sace on.

Happy Birthday
hippo, Nov 14 2001
  

       you could just drive a MoPed and that would fit in any space, plus it does 134 MPG if you're ex-Navy...

Cullen Skink
lewisgirl, Nov 14 2001
  

       and a tuxedo to pose as James Bond while you sneak into the back of Kinko's at night to take photocopies of your own ass which you will distribute at the local mall during the Christmas rush before climbing a tree and throwing pinecones at passing cars.

Sadistic Pleather
AfroAssault, Nov 14 2001
  

       Yeah, but if you did that, you wouldn't be able to easily carry around the white paint. I recommend a 5000 lb 1960s Ford pick-up tank. That way, you can carry as much paint and tarmac as you want.   

       [maggie], I believe that if you copyright / patent that idea, God may get you for prior art on "create your own space".   

       Merry Christmas.
cp, Nov 14 2001
  

       Fold up your car, and put it in the back of the nearest 1960s Ford pick-up. Slash the tires so he can't get away. Or just for the hell of it.   

       Moist Ptarmigan
pottedstu, Nov 14 2001
  

       Just make sure Mr Forwarded from the US navy doesn't find out about it.   

       Asbestos Catamaran
cp, Nov 14 2001
  

       If you drive a dockyard container crane, you can park above other vehicles.

Overinflated eagle
angel, Nov 14 2001
  

       If you drive a Sherman tank you can park *on* other vehicles. (©Kenny Everett 198x)   

       Puffed-up Penguin
st3f, Nov 14 2001
  

       If you drive a tow-truck you can tow away other vehicles.   

       Excited Elf
CoolerKing, Nov 14 2001
  

       I never seem to have trouble finding a place to park on the foot-path.   

       Stilted Parfait
mighty_cheese, Nov 14 2001
  

       An anti-gravity car would allow you to park on the roof. Drivers of low-slung sports cars could double up.   

       (I can't find any links more exact than those I posted.)   

       Slatted Polyester
pottedstu, Nov 14 2001
  

       If you carried a pocketful of nanobots around with you, then they could disassemble someone else's car, then you could quickly nip into their parking space whilst the 'bots reassembled their car on the yellow lines and they got a ticket instead of you.

Emotional Turmoil
DrBob, Nov 14 2001
  

       <pedant action="on" arena="vocabulary" context="Shakespeare"> 'Wherefore' means 'why' </pedant>

Additional words
angel, Nov 14 2001
  

       <pedantry>
waugs: your fake xml start and end braces don't match.
angel: The sentence parses fine. It just doesn't mean much. Then again he did say it was a dumb question.
Marian: 'Enyious'?
</pedantry>
  

       Extraneous Motes
st3f, Nov 14 2001
  

       st3f: she's making an out-of-place reference to a wee flame war that went on over at Transformobile with mp9man, he of the 134mpg moped and setting the FBI on 'wax. He's deleted his earlier annotations (or the idea owner has) but one of them had the usual spelling error; somehow he'd put a 'y' instead of a 'v' in "are you envious of my great fuel consumption?" (To which the answer in most of the USA does appear to be 'no')

Chaste Rabbits
lewisgirl, Nov 14 2001
  

       I sit corrected.   

       Virginal Hampster
st3f, Nov 14 2001
  

       If your car had a fabulous gamut of communications technologies (cf.), it would be able to divert the traffic warden with its witty conversation.
[blissmiss: "sacey hippo"?]

Yielding Bosom
hippo, Nov 14 2001
  

       maybe if your car was a hypnotist, the traffic warden wouldn't be able to get to any of the other cars either. Your car would become a public service, in fact.

Fat Arse
lewisgirl, Nov 14 2001
  

       Maybe if you talked about your 5000lb Ford pick-up to the traffic wardens they would fall asleep and you would be able to get away with it.   

       Caramel Duckling
pottedstu, Nov 14 2001
  

       a remote hydraulic flipper (robot wars style) to flip your car to vertical position to park in small spaces.   

       mrs seven bellies
gizmo, Nov 14 2001
  

       Ghod, I love this place.   

       Serious Resvervations
phoenix, Nov 14 2001
  

       narg eno ecin   

       undigested sprouts
gizmo, Nov 14 2001
  

       Rods: you almost pulled it off.   

       Velcro Pheasant
st3f, Nov 14 2001
  

       Note that she hasn't returned.   

       Absent Maggie
quarterbaker, Nov 14 2001
  

       Hi there everyone. Wonderful stuff you've all written. Well spotted Arora. Yes, you might have read this before because I submitted it to Viz during the early nineties for their Letterbox column, for which I got the glorious sum of £5 and a ballpoint.   

       Clog and pump.
maggie, Nov 14 2001
  

       Seek and ye shall find.

Clean and Jerk
quarterbaker, Nov 14 2001
  

       If you drive a nail, all you need is a hammer.   

       Frank and Stein
beauxeault, Nov 14 2001
  

       Hey maggie, now that you're back, what is up with the "Sticky Partridge" thing? It's been bugging the hell out of me.   

       Frank and Furter
CoolerKing, Nov 14 2001
  

       Dammit [maggie], now you've gone and changed the format.   

       Scared and alone
phoenix, Nov 14 2001
  

       I'll have another martini, please.

Musso and Frank
bristolz, Nov 14 2001
  

       While you're enjoying lamb chops at the oldest restaurant in Hollywood, get a facelift for your car, there IS a downside to having a Parking Space Increaser.
Faulkgerald and Fitzner
thumbwax, Nov 15 2001
  

       [waugs], say huh, wha . . . . ?

conned and fused
bristolz, Nov 15 2001
  

       Is this thing on?   

       Heat and Serve
mighty_cheese, Nov 15 2001
  

       Burrowing car that sort of rucks up the sidewalk and crawls under it.   

       slow 'n sloppy
Dog Ed, Nov 15 2001
  

       [Dog Ed] Halfbaked already as 'worm train'. Sort of.

4th and Broadway
hippo, Nov 15 2001
  

       We could all travel around in sewers? Oh, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Baked.

Hall and Oates
lewisgirl, Nov 15 2001
  

       Communal cars anyone can drive off in, so they won't need parking (I believe this is baked with bicycles.)   

       Spindle and mutilate
pottedstu, Nov 15 2001
  

       Communal shoes. If you're not walking, you don't really need them

Devil an' carnate.
angel, Nov 15 2001
  

       You could use shrinking power to make all the other cars smaller, then there'd be more room to fit your car in.

Bake 'n butties
DrBob, Nov 15 2001
  

       I know what you meant. You were quoting TheGreatestStoryEverTold

fire and brimstone
lewisgirl, Nov 15 2001
  

       You could always carry around a glot and parkin it.   

       dog dna and God
beauxeault, Nov 15 2001
  

       Bi afraid. Be very afraid!

Kill The Poor
DrBob, Nov 15 2001
  

       I'm waiting for Vernon to add to this.   

       Starry-Eyed and Bollock Naked
pottedstu, Nov 15 2001
  

       Bi afraid, Dr Bob? You're getting as bad as Arora with her Brians.   

       Anyway, just thought you'd all like to know where the idea of painting parking spaces got born. It was on one of many trips around Blue Bridge Car Park, York (lovely, lovely old York, Yorkshire, England). I never actually managed to park there - I just sequesterd and wished.   

       Wide Legged & Eyeless
maggie, Nov 15 2001
  

       Remember to bring orange road cones to prevent others from parking too close to you and dinging your door.   

       Prickly Chipmunk
seal10, Nov 15 2001
  

       There's never a mone about my spelling, maggie.

First Rule Is...
DrBob, Nov 15 2001
  

       Ah, prank potential! Keep blue paint and yellow paint in the car. Convert legal parking to illegal parking while occupied.   

       Fancyloose and Footfree
quarterbaker, Nov 15 2001
  

       the words parking plot will never be the same again   

       on and on
po, Nov 15 2001
  

       I bet DrBob sent the pedantic note that stopped that little girl's trial in Lewes yesterday.

Fortnum and Mason.
lewisgirl, Nov 16 2001
  

       My friends say that fur is best for keeping out the cold. Well, ermine works but I prefer my winter Woollies.

In the City

(Talk about jumping through hoops…)
DrBob, Nov 16 2001
  

       Rods: only if we could cut belgium up into little pieces, and carry a chunk of it round in our cars (just unroll your slice of Belge, and park thereon).   

       Whiplash Trash
pottedstu, Nov 16 2001
  

       At last! A use for Belgium!

Walloons and Phlegm.
angel, Nov 16 2001
  

       good chocolate

Esslemont and Macintosh
lewisgirl, Nov 16 2001
  

       I had a friend, John Lewis, who went to Belgium. He wasn't to be relyd on.

Burn Hollywood, Burn!
DrBob, Nov 16 2001
  

       but I bet he was never knowingly undersold.

Lillywhites.
lewisgirl, Nov 16 2001
  

       I want to know how Jamie Oliver gets all that shopping AND his gran home on a poxy scooter! (UK television ad for Sainsbury's)
LardyBloke, Nov 16 2001
  

       Evil cyclists could divide each lane into 2 half the width.   

       Chalmer's - One of Scotland's better bakers
pottedstu, Nov 16 2001
  

       He doesn't take his gran home - he just visits her with a piping hot pie he made earlier - cos he's a nice lad. With an endless supply of 'mates' to have round for impromtu parties   

       Picka Lops
arora, Nov 16 2001
  

       Name three famous Belgians.   

       Acon and Beggs
maggie, Nov 16 2001
  

       ever been to "Market Harborough" Pete? best cheese on toast ever.   

       Parry Hotter
gizmo, Nov 16 2001
  

       Mannekin Pis
beauxeault, Nov 17 2001
  

       [UB] you missed Rene Magritte.   

       Teas and Chippolata
po, Nov 17 2001
  

       [UB] But included Hercule Poirot, who only lives in books and not Belguim, as he is fictional.
dare99, Nov 17 2001
  

       UB knows that but Poirot is still *famous*   

       We are talking Belgium not Belguim   

       .............actually we are not, we are talking car parks.........   

       meat & 2 veg
po, Nov 17 2001
  

       Justine Henin and Kim Clijsters, Belgium's female equivalent of Tim Henman and Greg Rusedski. (Only neither of them are from another country entirely and they actually win things. So nothing like Tim and Greg after all)   

       Curry and chips
CoolerKing, Nov 17 2001
  

       [UnaBubba] Can't imagine skewering someone with a burst of flatulence, though doing so through the door of a 26 ton Ford pickup could be inneresting (sic).   

       Pedestrian Formicidae
meninotis, Nov 18 2001
  

       [Rods Tiger] Yes, they do. I was there on Friday.

eatmyhandbagbitch.com
hippo, Nov 18 2001
  

       Hoo boy.   

       Saran Getty
bristolz, Nov 09 2002
  

       Saran Aide.
k_sra, Nov 07 2003
  

       This is a good idea and would work very well in the artist city of...
  

       Sara sota
  

       The band I have to add is
  

       Throwing Muses
sartep, Nov 10 2003
  

       pottedstu, OK, here you go... :)
This particular notion involves magical technology, which is why it can't be posted as an Idea on its own. Still, it is one of those mad ideas I had years and years ago, and kind-of wish there was a way to make it work.
  

       I call it the "Ghost Button". It is a little black box that you attach to the outside of your car. It has a lock so only you can use it. Press the button, and your car becomes ghostly. It doesn't weigh anything anymore, so you can pick it up by the ghost-button box, and put it in the same parking space as some other car. You could put a hundred cars in the same spot! -- as long as there is room for a hundred ghost-button boxes. (You could just push your car underground, and hide the box in a bush.) Naturally, when you are done with whatever-it-was, away from your car, you drag the box and attached ghostly car back into an open space, and push the button again, restoring the car to its normal state, after which you climb in and drive off.
Vernon, Nov 20 2003
  

       Sounds like a great tool for assassination.   

       Buttons and Bows
k_sra, Nov 25 2003
  

       The Belgians aren't renowned for their quick wit and lively attitude. So you could never describe them as a sassy nation.

Kind Hearts & Coronets
DrBob, Dec 22 2003
  

       I voted for it, because I would not have the cojones to do it.   

       Pedantic Parrot
dentworth, Oct 28 2005
  

       Just got a parking ticket the other day so started trawling half-bakery rants for like- minded aggravation. Found this. Laughed. Bun. [+]   

       Malignant Bhuna
theleopard, Jul 07 2008
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

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