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common-sense police

a new kind of cop - dispensing justice in the form of wedgies
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have you ever been stuck behind someone at a traffic light where there is a no left turn sign, and the person is holding up a block of traffic, left turn signal flashing like a beacon of stupidity?

i think all big cities should have a new kind of police force, called "common sense police." they should be big bodybuilder types. they should walk around on foot looking for people doing stupid things. they would have the authority to enlighten these philistines, punctuating the lesson with an uncomfortable wedgie.

in the above example situation, the following would happen:

guy's turning left, holding up traffic. common sense policeman walks up, knocks on window, asks man to "step out of vehicle, please." cop: "see all those honking cars behind you?" dork: "yes" cop: "see that sign?" dork: "yes" cop: (applying uncomfortable wedgie) "that sign means no left turn. we put it there because this is a busy intersection and turning left here means holding up traffic behind you. if you REALLY want to go south on Yonge St, go to the next light, turn right, then right again, then right again. carry on, you dumbass." (general applause)

pixelswisher, May 03 2001

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       I do not approve of brownshirts nor of black-and-tan authoritarian thuggery. But this is really funny and my God there have been times I would have loved to see a Common Sense Policeperson take action. Just so he or she also uses common sense and doesn't apply wedgies to frail old ladies who are too confused already.   

       Appropos of which, yesterday I was running my dog off-leash in a clearly posted dogs-on-leash area adjoining a bikepath, and a pair of bicycle policepeople came pedaling along. The area was deserted except for me, and by gosh they just gave me a little wave and pedaled on by. Could have smacked me with an $80 fine, but they showed some common sense instead. Yay.
Dog Ed, May 03 2001
  

       Cruel and unusual. It'll never fly. (the wedgie part, that is...)
globaltourniquet, May 03 2001
  

       Just thought of another problem with this. What percentage of the dork population with no common sense are also looney enough not to wear underwear...?
globaltourniquet, May 03 2001
  

       Sorta Baked in cartoons. Zippy the Pinhead featured Stupidity Patrol and Surfer Magazine featured Frank and some other guy in The Wilbur Kookmeyer series generally haranguing people. As for real life - a cop with common sense or courtesy???? Not in L.A. anyway
thumbwax, May 03 2001
  

       pixelwisher, was that you stuck behind the dork on bloor st? i was right behind you!
mihali, May 03 2001
  

       Normally when I hear the word "common-sense", I think "deranged anti-intellectual blood-and-soil fascist", but this idea is really good. common-sense = stupid, and this idea uses that paradox to the maximum extent.
pottedstu, Jan 11 2002
  
      
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