Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Apply directly to forehead.

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crack tension stimulator

  (+3)
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This is an application for a tablet pc or smart tv. Intended to be used in the kitchen however the format of this invention could lend itself to other preconcieved real life experiences.

Have you ever wanted to punish someone for doing something too well.

Have you ever been jealous of someone that cracks eggs perfectly. They just seem to have a beautiful flow about the mechanical process. Cracking an egg with one hand effortlessly and without breaking the yoke. Seeing that gets on my last nerve because the gifted egg cracker that i know is always so smug about it, like its nothing special.

Anyhow in our house we use the ipad as a recipe book from time to time. The CTS app allows you to trigger a disruptive extreme egg cracking mishap video and audio presentation at precisely the right moment to knock an expert egg cracker off his or her game. Think of it like an on instant demand ugliest auto crash video or like the gross out boat tunnel video from the original wonka movie except that it features egg calamities.

Please excuse the name

vfrackis, May 03 2012

[link]






       //Please excuse the name// It's OK. It's not as annoying as, say "beanangel".
MaxwellBuchanan, May 03 2012
  

       Would you prefer "be a Dear"?   

       I'm not sure this would work [vrackis] but like the thinking behind it. [+]
AusCan531, May 04 2012
  

       Erm is this a good place to point out that "crack" does have one specific slang meaning i.e. anus, which would tend to throw an entirely different light on this idea?
not_morrison_rm, May 04 2012
  

       So, you have trouble cracking eggs without breaking the yolk (that's how it's spelled, by the way).   

       <Nelson Muntz> Ha Ha </nm>
UnaBubba, May 04 2012
  

       I was thinking something _very_ different until I saw this was in the Computer category.
Alterother, May 04 2012
  

       Shame on you. Go and wash your mind out with soap and water.
8th of 7, May 04 2012
  

       I scrub and I scrub, but it just won't come clean!
Alterother, May 04 2012
  

       What you need is Clinton's-brand Patent Brainwashing Cream; why, a good rubbing with that, and you can even completely forget that you ever had sex with "That Woman"…   

       DON'T be tempted by cheaper brands like "Reaganol" - it works well, but too well. You end up forgetting who you are, what yyour job is, whether you've had your dinner yet, and even who you declared war on last…
8th of 7, May 04 2012
  
      
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