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l'chapeau du mort

"Star Wars" hat technology for Godfather situations
  (+10, -1)(+10, -1)
(+10, -1)
  [vote for,

A large hat, with a small rotating radar dish and a small handgun inside. When you're summoned to a late-night meeting with your mafia friends, wear this hat: The radar will pick up and track incoming bullets and direct the gun to shoot the bullets out of the air.
hippo, Feb 21 2007

Le petit mort http://en.wikipedia.../wiki/Le_petit_mort
For those that didn't study English Literature. [theleopard, Feb 21 2007]

Phalanx http://www.fas.org/...hip/weaps/mk-15.htm
MK 15 Phalanx Close-In Weapons System (CIWS) [baconbrain, Feb 21 2007]

The Average Elbonian http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elbonia
[jurist, Feb 21 2007]

Orgasmatron http://www.firebox....id=gadgets&aff=1272
Chapeau (sort of) de la petite mort [Fozziter, Feb 23 2007]


       Beautiful! :) Two questions though: 1. How do you make the aiming mechanism fast and precise enough to handle the speed of the incoming bullet, closing in at roughly one kilometer per second? 2. Did you intend the title to be Death Hat (referring of course to Death Star)? As it stands now it wouldn't make for very good marketing, as it literally translates to Hat of the Dead ;-)
placid_turmoil, Feb 21 2007

Some Royal Navy battleships have a last line of defence called 'Goalkeeper' that is basically a set of auto-canons that fire hire powered rounds at incoming missiles. The only problem is that by the time the missile is in range, it is going to hit the boat... Goalkeeper can only try and stop the warhead - even if it works there will be a shower of shrapnel.
Jinbish, Feb 21 2007

       [Placid] Yes, I admit, a tricky technical challenge, but theoretically possible. I meant the title to be "The Hat of Death", just because I liked the sound of it.
hippo, Feb 21 2007

       So - lets say average bullet speed is 1000ft per second (bit on the slow side). The average mafioso-type shoots from 10ft away. Assuming that the hat has image recognition to identify when a handgun is pointing at you (so we can assume that the bullet is identified at t=0s).   

       Then the hat has 1/100 of a second before the bullet hits - as per Goalkeeper this is probably reduced to something like 6/1000 (the bullet being hit 4ft from you).
Jinbish, Feb 21 2007

       l'chapeau de la mort, then! French death is a she.
placid_turmoil, Feb 21 2007

       No different to other cultures then! <ducks for cover>
Jinbish, Feb 21 2007

       Now, a "chapeau de la petit mort" would be *really* interesting.
theleopard, Feb 21 2007

       That would fire... never mind.
wagster, Feb 21 2007

       Or it could give a great head massage. And I mean *really* great...
theleopard, Feb 21 2007

       As it spun to aim at the bullet wouldn't the torque snap your neck?
Galbinus_Caeli, Feb 21 2007

       I think the American ship version of this is called "Phalanx." (See link). It won't work in a hat without a lot more baking.
baconbrain, Feb 21 2007

       One word for you: counter rotation.
Texticle, Feb 21 2007

       I saw a tripod-mounted sentry-gun based on similar principles a few years back. Rather than radar, it listened for a bullet and shot in the direction that the bullet came from, hoping to catch snipers. It had no pretentions about shooting a bullet out of the air, though, simply of removing the threat that had made the shot. Think about it, that's pretty good for a mafia setting. Your hat may not be able to save your life, bit it would be able to avenge your death.
st3f, Feb 21 2007

       If the "Phalanx" [baconbrain] links to above were down-sized into something wearable upon one's head, it would look a great deal like the headgear worn by Elbonians in the "Dilbert" comic strip. Which is something to contemplate.
jurist, Feb 21 2007

       Read somewhere about a defence system being developed for US APC's. It was used for missile and high-velocity shell defence.   

       will go find linky.
Custardguts, Feb 21 2007

       With a little packaging and promotion, the Pentagon would give you a couple of billion for development.
nuclear hobo, Feb 21 2007

       The "sombrero de la muerte" (hola) does not need to hit the incoming bullet. Just let it detect the offending gunshot, and then fire a large projectile vertically upwards from the wearer's head. The recoil will throw the wearer to the floor and, assuming that the would-be assassin has aimed for the head or upper torso, the shot will miss. There are some spinal compression issues to consider.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 21 2007

       Then there's the "cappello della morte" which the Italians perfected in WWII. In the event of gunfire it surrenders so you end up grovelling on the ground, out of the way of any oncoming projectile.
Canuck, Feb 22 2007

       Can I just say I really like the Babelfish transalation of "The hat of death" into Dutch: "De hoed van dood".
hippo, Feb 22 2007

       That would be "le chapeau de la mort". You only abbreviate the "le" when the following word starts with a vowel.
BunsenHoneydew, Feb 22 2007

       [jurist], you love those Elbonians don't you!
theleopard, Feb 22 2007

       //The recoil will throw the wearer to the floor and, assuming that the would-be assassin has aimed for the head or upper torso, the shot will miss. //   

       Unless the shot is aimed at the kneecap, or groinal area - these are gangsters we're talking about here!
zen_tom, Feb 23 2007

       Perhaps you should have one of these mounted groinally? - "pantalon de la mort"?
hippo, Feb 23 2007

       As you approach your beloved, she notices motion in your groinal area. "Ooo!" she coos. "Are you really happy to see me, or is that a 'pantalon de la mort'?"
SledDog, Feb 24 2007

       Far simpler, why not 'the hat of Mutually Assured Destruction'. At the first incoming bullet, the warhead detonates and takes with it both gangster and wearer (known as the MAD hatter).
Fozziter, Feb 26 2007

       Wasn't that a key plot point in "Snowcrash" and a minor one in "Consider Plebus"
Galbinus_Caeli, Feb 26 2007

       //I meant the title to be "The Hat of Death"// - I designed a hat a few years ago, for my usual type of fun, called the Hat of Doom - it's a "ten gallon" type hat encrusted with various targets like apples, burning cigarettes, and a toy car that runs around the rim with a target flag on it.   

       [+] for hippo's idea, which could be combined with my own, to frustrate the shooter
xenzag, Feb 26 2007

       [+] As we say in Glasgow, you're a' heidbangers.
james_what, Feb 26 2007


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