Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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more than a Mexican wave…

… they think it’s all over, it is now!
  (+12, -4)(+12, -4)
(+12, -4)
  [vote for,

Mexican waves are all very lovely but they apparently occur in limited circumstances.

f’rinstance, it takes about 30 soccer fans in a certain area to get a wave going and the chances are that it will go in a clockwise direction at about 20 seats per second with a width of 6 to 12 seats wide <scrabbles with calculator> that’s about 120 to 240 fans per second (riveting stuff, you must agree!) and there’s nothing more depressing than a Mexican wave that fizzles out half way round the stadium like the impotent limp gesture beloved of the queen mother rather than a magnificent ocean swell crashing onto Brighton beach ( forgive me, there’s a few mixed metaphors in there surely but you get the gist)

the seats in the new stadium would have the hydraulic capacity to lift the spectator into a standing position no matter what his/her mood (apparently Mexican waves are more likely to occur during unexciting periods of play rather than when the opposing side has scored an own goal etc) and all the seats are linked to a centralised computer, operated by perhaps the team managers or the physio’s bit on the offside, whatever!

the waves can now be stylised into any creative pattern that the operator wishes. waves that move like waves i.e. up and down the rows of seats or a wave that starts near to the pitch and spreads out upwards and outwards – even messages can be spelled out to the crowd “hotdogs are now on sale”, “eye-tests free at Specsavers for football refs!”, “ would the owner of the car with reg plate…”

with apologies to [jinbish]

po, May 27 2006

Soccer Aid http://uk.news.laun...ch.html&e=l_news_dm
England 2 - Rest of the World 1 (Maradona scored the goal for the Rest of the World from a penalty given for a hand ball - oh, the irony. [po, May 27 2006]

Self-Leveling_20Executive_20Chair ...the chairs could be programmed to deliver a mexican wave... [xaviergisz, May 28 2006]

waves, explained http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mexican_wave
here's even more detail [neilp, May 28 2006]

merkins, explained http://www.straight...lassics/a3_232.html
Read the halfbakery long enough and you'll become an expert in all things pubic. [jutta, May 29 2006]

Standing waves? http://musicthing.b...ky-video-about.html
What you get if you attach a signal generator to a speaker under a steel plate... And then sprinkle on some rice. [Dub, May 31 2006]

THE wave http://www.modjourn...ge/Hokusai/Wave.gif
as opposed to just any old wave. [Loris, Jun 02 2006]


       (no need for apologies [po]!?... or is there?)
Jinbish, May 27 2006

       bringing up the f word again :)
po, May 27 2006

       Football? For the record, I love football and rejoice at the prospect of the World Cup (despite the terrible omission of 'the good guys'). Having inept, nationalistic commentary foisted upon me during UK-wide coverage is another matter, no matter what the sport.   

       And did you know that Scottish referees are sponsored by Specsavers?
Jinbish, May 27 2006

       //And did you know that Scottish referees are sponsored by Specsavers?//Ha, ha, ha, ha. No, I didn't know that. <still laughing>
po, May 27 2006

       [+]Perhaps there should be an EQ, Reverb and Echo and Flange units, too. These can be applied to the Mexican wave to provide extra cool effects. They can be controlled by the commentators - A VU meter could be displayed on the pitch by the flood lights or large display panel.
Dub, May 28 2006

       I always thought "the wave" was not notably mexican. Fascinating.
sninctown, May 28 2006

       Linked to the World cup, Mexico 1986, although it originated in the USA in the early 80's.
Ling, May 28 2006

       <pushes button> "shut up, you're just a spectator!" <marks [21Quest] as a special case for painful, every 5 minute wave material>   

       who is Dan Marino? excuse me - look at the category. FOOTBALL - the beautiful game.
po, May 28 2006

       It is my understanding that in America they play football by a whole different set of rules. In fact, the British game and its stateside counterpart bear little to no resemblance whatsoever!   

       You learn something new every day.
NickTheGreat, May 28 2006

       No, football has universally adopted rules, as set out by the world's governing body: Fifa.
Football is football is football. 2 goal nets, 1 round ball, two teams of 11 people kick the ball about; and at the end the Germans win. Those are the rules, no matter what the guys over the Atlantic call their game, football will still be football - not to be confused with the popular egg-bawwed scrimmage fest that is "Armoured Rugby Extreme".
Jinbish, May 28 2006

       Although I think it's worth noting that, despite debate as to the real origin, most people agree football(soccer) was NOT the original venue, and it definitely originated in the USA, so it could be claimed us 'merkins have seniority in this article.   

       American Football is, admittedly, enormously flawed these days. Between the stupid naming confusion, the awful media presentation, and general lack of creativity in modern teams, the interesting bits have pretty much disappeared and now it's just fat guys smashing each other. Although I wish other countries would give a little more respect to the necessity of the padding--the average life expectancy of a pro American Football player is something like 55 years, it's hell on the body.
5th Earth, May 29 2006

       (It's ok. The American Football guys do get credit really. Behind the soccer and rugby-based rants people know that being hit head first by a 300lbs+ man wearing a rock hard helmet is going to need more than a bit of padding. It's just quite an easy sport to {unfairly} pick on.)
Jinbish, May 29 2006

       'merkin <snicker/>
neilp, May 29 2006

       (goes to click on [jutta]'s link, stops to read [jutta]'s note, does not click on [jutta]'s link)   

david_scothern, May 29 2006

       This is pretty cool, as long as they replace all the spilled pop corn....and watch out for mustard stains from those *flying* hot dogs!
xandram, May 29 2006

       //a magnificent ocean swell crashing onto Brighton beach//

It would have to be a pretty damn big swell to crash onto Brighton beach. The ocean is on the opposite side of the country.

Can't stand Mexican Waves. I'd much rather that footie fans entertained themselves either by adopting the traditional method of barracking the players, manager, board of directors, opposition fans or police or by singing the classic terrace hits of the past (e.g 'Que Sera Sera...', 'Cmon you blues/reds/whites/stripes etc [delete as applicable]', 'We hate Nottingham Forest...' , 'The referee's a wanker' and the all time favourite 'You're goin' home in a fuckin' ambulance').
DrBob, May 30 2006

       Aw, po. Surely a mechanical wave would take the humanity out of it. If a mexican wave fizzles out, surely that's part of the social dynamics of it.
st3f, May 30 2006

       it might be called the English Channel but it still is the Atlantic Ocean, surely, DrBob.
po, May 30 2006

       Of course it isn't. The Atlantic Ocean is just a big amorphous pond where just anyone can clean out their oil tankers. The English Channel is proper English water full of English sewage and good English broken glass. Something you can be proud to let your kids paddle about in. Oceanus Brittanicus!
DrBob, May 30 2006

       Well, I love hydraulics as a means of getting something simple done in a loud, hot and stinky, oily messy way.   

       But a little electricity would achieve the same purpose.
normzone, May 30 2006

       Hmmm. As st3f says, if every seat was mechanised, then it would all be a bit contrived and worthless.   

       On the other hand... selected seats around the stadium could be set to oscillate by the infirm but eager to participate occupants.
And everyone else could be persuaded to perform the appropriate mathmatical function. Then a fascinating display of interference could be achieved.
Loris, May 30 2006

       Yay freudian slips! Or at least, poor choices of spelling for auditory humor. Honestly, I had no idea--but [Jutta]'s link does list, first of all, the use of the word as a joke, which is the only way I've ever heard it used.
5th Earth, Jun 01 2006

       Four words: Bugs bunny extendable chairs!   

       You know, the kind where you pull the lever and the occupant of the barbers chair gets sent 30 feet into the air, by a hydrolic lifting mechanism beneath the chair?
EvilPickels, Jun 02 2006

       //Bugs Bunny extendable chairs//   

       Extendable chairs? Go Figure-o...
Jinbish, Jun 02 2006

       Bugs Bunny Expendable Ears?
po, Jun 02 2006


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