h a l f b a k e r y
"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
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Build such a machine and
widely publish its location
and "telephone number".
Prank calls shouldn't be a
concern until neutrino
available. Until then we can
be certain that all
communications will to be
sent from the future.
||Somebody should analyze the effect of current events and
world news on the topical trends of HB posts. 6 months
ago, everyone was touting inadvisable applications for
hydrogen combustion, and we've gone through several
other fads since; now it seems neutrinos are the new
||I'm commenting (read: bitching) about this since I have no
valuable contribution on the subject of inadvisably applied
neutrino emissions. Until I finish reading the instruction
manual for my new particle-beam welder, my knowledge
in that field shall remain sorely lacking.
||In the back of the manual is a url for a website
where you get updates to documentation for the
manufacturer's products. On the website is a
manual for a tachyon-beam welder, with a 2047
copyright. [Alterother], who has no difficulty with
theoretical physics, as long as it's couched in
terms of welding, homebrews a tachyon-beam
welder, which he patents. Sale of patent to the
Acme Corporation leaves him wealthy, but he
falls victim to a succession of con-artists selling
schemes for worthless anti-teleportation devices.
In 2047, Acme rolls out its Mark-IV tachyon-beam
||And why has no-one yet proposed neutrinos as a
method of sterilizing elevator-buttons?
||[rcarty] what would the //"telephone number"//
of such a device be, even metaphorically?
||Go read the user manual on your Interocitor, [mp], and please, do try to keep up. It makes it very tedious for the rest of the class.
||Tachyon-beams are no good for welding, only cutting. You
set up the cutter on Monday afternoon, leave for the night,
and when you come back in the morning, all of the parts
you'll need next Thursday will have been cut and prepped
the previous Saturday, ready for fit-up on Monday
morning. Just remember to press 'Start' on the cutter when
you're all done fabricating, or the parts will never have
been cut and a whole day's work will never have happened.
||Patent pending. Warranty void if converted for use against
||Does it detect them by that recoil thingy i don't
understand, by decaff or by Cherenkov radiation?