[This account was created in a pottery crash in October 1227BC and has been partially replaced by a cracked copy. If you think it is yours, you're quite simply wrong.]
clpeterson404 at gmail dot com
Powerful enough to run xsane as root.
Smart enough not to.
Desperate enough to do it anyway.
I've got a photographic memory. Why, I'd forget my breakfast if there wasn't a picture of it on the cereal box!
There's more than one way to obtain a cat. Then there are multiple ways to decide what to do with it. And when you've decided (inevitably) to skin it, there is more than one way to do that.
Will revise history for food
Houston, we have a parabola.
Inept driver on open course. Do not attempt.
Our *new* functionality is enabled via exofumic reactors and photo-quality retro-reflection!
Space-time is curved.
And warped, and bent.
And cracked, and wrinkled, and has some holes in it
and it's got an ugly paint job, and
WE WANT A NEW ONE.
Boldly thinking where no box has gone before.
Widely known to not exist.
I hear voices in my head telling me to correct people's spelling.
Poof of concept.
Putting the "trap" in "contraption".
Everything you need to know about a man's character can be determined from how he reacts to a hangfire.
Limited Lifetime Warranty: you break it, you're dead
Two heads may be better than one, but half a head and no heads at all are approximately the same value.
I am so extremely curious, I pose a grave risk to cats.
With enough ping-pong balls to sink a battleship.
Real smoke. Fake mirrors.
Get your mime out of the gutter.
I think, therefore I am.
You're not thinking, so why do you still exist?
Author of "Adventures of a Line-Following Robot in the Land of 'O's"
Brought to you by the makers of Charlie's Minimally Toxic Cooking Soap
I don't know if I'm in that Ooolongftangftangbank thing or not.
The pen may well be mightier than the sword - but it fails to make a quick, clean ending for him who decides to end it all by falling upon it.
[Sep 15 2002, last modified Mar 28 2020]
A mark posted at (x,y) on the wall
Acupuncture for autos
All Weather Olympic Torch Lighter
Anti-superstitious cat bleach
Bouguer Deflection Flat-Planet Positioning system
Bungeeing for Apples
Cell phone vibrator - seismographic mode
Coffee table marker lights
Desk Upgrade Cover
Dog rolling tray
Dropped Food Safety Estimator
Google Earth Date/Timestamp
Google Glass Backyard Flight Sim
GPR sinkhole alarm
Gregorian Chant Children's Songs
Gym bag, with fan
Halo generating hat
Head Down Display
Human Resources Cannonball
Internal Dryer Drum Clutch
Laparoscopic Road Repair
Laser Fire Exit Pointer
Low-Wattage Rasterized Scanning Toaster
Musical self-stirring thermo-mug
Null Keyboard Plug
Pokemon Go Thataway
Predictive Text at end of word
Propane fueled video display
Prosthetic Tree Limb
Recumbent motorized wheelchair
Road Construction Webcam
Sign Language Yodeling
Solar solstice laser
Spaghetti nodo Gordiano
Squeaky Toy Silicone Implant
Stellar Flash Photography
Tinkertoy bog roll adapter
Transatlantic Custard Pipeline
What's your problem?
"What was that?" recorder
Whiteboard Scanner Backup & Defrag Bot
Wood scent air freshener & alarm
Zip Tie Gender Changer