h a l f b a k e r y
The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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I don't have any kids nor can I see myself having any soon. And yet I
want to be able to feel the joys of parenthood. There must be others
in my same shoes.
Now that it's the 2000s and kids cost around 90 thousand dollars a
year until they are 35 rather than the 1800s when kids started to
in a reasonable factory wage at 7, and now that complex
organic life is about to be destroyed forever because we are too lazy
to stop eating French fries, it's time someone invented something
that spreads traditional procreativiry-related rewards around to
traditionally non-procreativity-related actions.
In other words, save the planet with this new automatic poop
recognition and praising system.
Upon recognition of the sound of either primary or secondary
excretion this system will run algorithms that determine an
optimized reward structure designed to grow pride and parental
feelings, and play an associated praise.
"Praise be to the lord it's a new born King!"
[hippo, Apr 14 2015]
Tony The Toilet Buddy
Was a minor plot point on a recent episode of "Better Call Saul" [tatterdemalion, Apr 15 2015]
||// the 2000s and kids cost around 90 thousand dollars a year until they are 35 rather than the 1800s when kids started to bring in a reasonable factory wage at 7, and now that complex organic life is about to be destroyed forever because we are too lazy to stop eating French fries //
||Bun for merely waking up and smelling the coffee ...
||[-] for the rant [+] for a new application for talking toilets.
||My toddler has a hand-me-down training potty that
a sensor eye that triggers a reward song whenever
the beam is interrupted. This has resulted in my
younger daughter's discovery that if she puts her
there, she is rewarded with music, and warmth.
||She probably has to put her hand all the way in to get to the warmth.
||"Put it in me, I want it all, you're so big!"
||Right up there with "rate my poop."
||[bliss] I think you meant right *down* there! :)