Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Automatic poop praiser

And concomitant automatic poop recognition system
  (+2, -3)
(+2, -3)
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I don't have any kids nor can I see myself having any soon. And yet I want to be able to feel the joys of parenthood. There must be others in my same shoes.

Now that it's the 2000s and kids cost around 90 thousand dollars a year until they are 35 rather than the 1800s when kids started to bring in a reasonable factory wage at 7, and now that complex organic life is about to be destroyed forever because we are too lazy to stop eating French fries, it's time someone invented something that spreads traditional procreativiry-related rewards around to traditionally non-procreativity-related actions.

In other words, save the planet with this new automatic poop recognition and praising system.

Upon recognition of the sound of either primary or secondary excretion this system will run algorithms that determine an optimized reward structure designed to grow pride and parental feelings, and play an associated praise.

ie:

"Praise be to the lord it's a new born King!"

JesusHChrist, Apr 14 2015

Toiletron [hippo, Apr 14 2015]

Tony The Toilet Buddy https://www.youtube...watch?v=83KLxQ1jjdg
Was a minor plot point on a recent episode of "Better Call Saul" [tatterdemalion, Apr 15 2015]

[link]






       // the 2000s and kids cost around 90 thousand dollars a year until they are 35 rather than the 1800s when kids started to bring in a reasonable factory wage at 7, and now that complex organic life is about to be destroyed forever because we are too lazy to stop eating French fries //   

       Bun for merely waking up and smelling the coffee ...
8th of 7, Apr 14 2015
  

       [-] for the rant [+] for a new application for talking toilets. net [+-]
Voice, Apr 15 2015
  

       My toddler has a hand-me-down training potty that has a sensor eye that triggers a reward song whenever the beam is interrupted. This has resulted in my younger daughter's discovery that if she puts her hand in there, she is rewarded with music, and warmth.
RayfordSteele, Apr 15 2015
  

       She probably has to put her hand all the way in to get to the warmth.
bungston, Apr 15 2015
  

       "Put it in me, I want it all, you're so big!"
tatterdemalion, Apr 15 2015
  

       Right up there with "rate my poop."
blissmiss, Apr 15 2015
  

       [bliss] I think you meant right *down* there! :)
xandram, Apr 16 2015
  
      
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