Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Black Pudding Making Ballet Shoes

  (+12, -9)
(+12, -9)
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Ex-ballerina Better Half tells me that ballerinas will often have bleedy feet after spending anything more than a few minutes en pointe. Why let the blood and the frankly underused space in the wooden blocks go to waste? Surely both could be better used by the deployment of a cunningly miniaturised black pudding making machine which would, once the requisite amount of blood was collected, produce from the toe of the shoe a small but perfectly formed Stornoway black pudding, for consumption by the weary soloist and her corps de ballet.
calum, Nov 26 2007

Ew indeed. Vegetarian_20Black_20Pudding
Reminded me of this self-masticatory idea of [hippo]'s. [theleopard, Nov 26 2007]

Fore people on wikipikichikidickytickerpedia http://en.wikipedia.../wiki/Fore_(people)
[calum, Nov 29 2007]

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       Ew.
phoenix, Nov 26 2007
  

       Ew too.
Jinbish, Nov 26 2007
  

       So when do the oatmeal, fat and herbs get added?
squeak, Nov 26 2007
  

       They are carefully inserted by a preening, pipette wielding stage-hand mere minutes before the call.
calum, Nov 26 2007
  

       pipette wielding sage hand, shirley?
4whom, Nov 26 2007
  

       A totally foolish, and rediculous idea. (+) Now what about "foot-cheese-making", for runners? I do a lot of running and I'm sure I could make some kind of cheese with the stuff that sweats off my feet. Anyone for cheese on toast at my house?
xenzag, Nov 26 2007
  

       That's a croque, monsieur! Is that pedmont cheese?
4whom, Nov 26 2007
  

       For some reason the phrase "frankly underused space in the wooden blocks" made me chortle.   

       I'm looking around the room now at the shockingly underused spaces inside all sorts of domestic objects, including an early outbreak of Christmas baubles.   

       Oh and a (+) by the way.
DenholmRicshaw, Nov 26 2007
  

       //what about "foot-cheese-making", for runners?//   

       I had a friend that once described to me various fictional "fromunda cheese" manufacturing aids.   

       The most memorable one involved a series of expanding belly button jewels that increased the size of the innie cavity until it could ferment a whole wheel sized piece of fromunda cheese.
ye_river_xiv, Nov 27 2007
  

       Are you a cannibal?
simonj, Nov 27 2007
  

       Who says human consumption . The big machine still has to be fed .
wjt, Nov 27 2007
  

       //shockingly underused spaces inside all sorts of domestic objects, including an early outbreak of Christmas baubles.//
<reaches for beer-mat, sketches bauble solar still> Hmmm </rfbmsbss>
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Nov 27 2007
  

       //Are you a cannibal?//
Autophage?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Nov 27 2007
  

       [xenzag] around here it's called *toe jam*
xandram, Nov 27 2007
  

       Looks more like cheese to me - jam is usually brightly coloured. This stuff resembles paramesan to me. Maybe I'm eating too much pizza.
xenzag, Nov 27 2007
  

       How did I miss this? The blood should be oozing out of the keyboard..   

       It's ideas like this that scare me, way way way muchly.
blissmiss, Nov 28 2007
  

       I would do anything to make Darcey Bussell mine.   

       Except anything to do with her no-doubt ghastly gnarly tree-root f*cked-up ballet dancer's lifetime of abuse tippy toes, which are likely made out of gravel and look like sheep's knee bones wrapped in parchment. I think toeblood would make the most exquisitely f*ckin horrible black pudding. I'll leave it to WJ MacDonald (best) or Charley Barley (2nd best) to provide me with the finest offal-derived product in the known universe.
Murdoch, Nov 28 2007
  

       disgusting   

       bone
evilpenguin, Nov 28 2007
  

       Though of course, Murdcoh, you would only be able to consume this Ballet Black Pudding if you were either in the corps de ballet or, at the outside, some sort of sweatily obsessive and financially persuasive promoter of the moving arts, able to blackmail the company into giving you the opportunity to corner the prima ballerina immediately post ovation and, while making googly eyes at her, quickly lock the door and whip out your campinggaz stove. And though I don't know you particularly well, Murdoch, I'd be prepared to hazard that you are not such a promoter. Nor, indeed, a ballerina. Though I may be wrong.   

       So, the black pudding so created by this idea is designed only for those steel-muscled and limber types who would wish to supplicate themselves before the soloist, to curry favour or, more mystically, to absorb, Fore tribesmanlike, some of her physical and artistic powers, via the means of a small but perfectly formed black pudding butty.
calum, Nov 29 2007
  

       ***sigh*** If only you, [Calum] could harness this mental energy for good.   

       edit: for the greater good
dentworth, Nov 29 2007
  

       You could make Mealy Pudding by continuously stomping upon a vegan clown's floppyboot.   

       Maybe not.
skinflaps, Nov 29 2007
  

       //for good//   

       ??
Jinbish, Nov 29 2007
  

       Calum, I read "post ovation" as "post ovulation" first time, which cast your anno in v different light to what was intended.
Murdoch, Nov 29 2007
  
      
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