Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bluetooth Suede Shoes

Autolacing.
  (+3)
(+3)
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Footwear, which attachment mechanism is controlled through an xPhone or similar.

Step into the wide open shoeholes with an ease to make loafers green with envy, then tap "Lace" on the app: the miniature machinery takes care of pulling the tongue into place and moving the upper flaps together until a preset snugness is reached. Tap "Unlace" to reverse the process. All without having to bend over, sit down, or crouch at an uncomfortable angle while making funny noises just to handle the footwear.

Comes with a small crank-handle embedded in the sole, for manual operation in case of battery or electronics failure.

FlyingToaster, May 07 2014

[link]






       Well, yeah but the mechanism tightens up until a specified snuggity is reached, not by circumference of the foot.
FlyingToaster, May 07 2014
  

       [+] The problem is that bending down to tie your shoes helps you stay slightly flexible after a certain age.
pashute, May 07 2014
  

       That machinery is bound to be intricate and fragile - you can do anything, but don't step on them.
normzone, May 07 2014
  

       I recommend kevlar-protected inflatable air-bladders around the sides of the shoes instead. No complex machinery needed, just a pump. Get the hugely oversize version to walk on water. Boat shoes v2.
RayfordSteele, May 07 2014
  

       I just like the name. 10/10 would buy just to bring it up in conversation.
terryo, May 10 2014
  

       ^The credit for the title should go to [2fries] for an annotation in another post (Harmonica Dentures).
FlyingToaster, May 10 2014
  
      
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