Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Calamari-cut catgut chain-mail tennis racquet.

  [vote for,

As pointed out by [vernon] at some length, tennis racquets are strung with a square weave, but an hexagonal weave, if possible, would give some interesting dynamics.

Howevertheless, I think there is a better solution.

Traditionally, catgut is split lengthwise to create the strings with which a tennis racquet is strung.

An alternative approach, however, presents itself as soon as you juxtapose the ideas of tennis, catgut, calamari and chain-mail.

Instead of splitting the catgut lengthwise, simply slice it calamarieqsuely, to give a series of rings. These can then be used to create a sheet of catgut chain-mail, which can be stretched and fixed over the otherwise inconvenient hole in the middle of the racquet.

It may be objected that catgut is strongest along its length, rather than radially. If this proves to be a problem, then it will necessary to use instead the small terminal portion of the feline gastrointestinal tract, which is admirably adapted to provide radial elasticity.

Finally, I am well aware that synthetic materials are often used as a substitute for cat gut. However, I am sure this is a very bad idea, since I do not believe that the cat will be able to absorb adequate nutrients through a polymer.

MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 31 2011

Provoked by: Hexagon_20Weave
(But this idea is shorter, and placed in a better cat-egory.) [MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 31 2011]

//something that might be called "chicken-wire" stockings....// http://www.pumpers.....cfm?ProductID=4188
[pocmloc, Nov 01 2011]


       The gut comes from sheep, not from cats. It's properly called simply mail or maille; chain-mail is a Victorian perversion (which may itself be a tautology). To make mail, some of the rings must be able to be joined during construction, otherwise construction will be topologically challenging in 3 spacial dimensions. Otherwise a fine idea.
spidermother, Oct 31 2011

       [spidermother] I had neglected the complexities of linking intact rings, so as not to overburden other readers. However, you are doubtless aware that rubber bands can be linked into a 2-D mesh. Moreover, there are topologies which allow multiple interlinked rings to be cut from a suitable surface; it's merely a question of breeding cats with the appropriate intestinal geometry.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 31 2011

       Here, Kleiny kleiny!   

       Möbius! Not on the good rug!   

       (Pace [spidermother], re. sheep vs cats.)
spidermother, Oct 31 2011

       [8th] will be very saddened to learn that "catgut" is from sheep. So much wasted effort...
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 31 2011

       [MaxwellBuchanan], my Idea was more about the weave than about tennis. And, just because it might be difficult to make other things with a hex weave, because the strings need to be taut, that doesn't mean it's impossible. For example, think of "fish-net" stockings. Obviously their strings/threads are taut when worn. So, it should be possible to make something that might be called "chicken-wire" stockings....   

       Therefore the "Fashion: Pattern" category was correct for my Idea.
Vernon, Oct 31 2011

       Only here can sushi, chainmail, and tennis find a common connection.
RayfordSteele, Nov 02 2011

       [pocmloc], I can see how employing a loose definition of a "hexagon", along with how those stockings appear to be constructed, could lead to them being called "chicken wire stockings. However, I want "regular" hexagons, meaning that all 6 sides are the same length, or as close to the same length as possible. From a distance the openings in those stockings look much more like squares than like hexagons.
Vernon, Nov 02 2011

       One can better improve tennis by modifying skirt hemlines. But I agree with the last paragraph though.
bob, Nov 03 2011

       //the small terminal portion of the feline gastrointestinal tract//   

       Hang on. This is a mesh of interlocked anal sphincters, isn't it?
pertinax, Nov 08 2011

       You may sphinct so, but I couldn't possibly comment.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 08 2011

       //couldn't possibly comment// Catgut your tongue?
mouseposture, Nov 08 2011


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