h a l f b a k e r y
Why not imagine it in a way that works?
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The Cask of Sanitation contains compressed air and detergent. When it is opened the compressed air generates a large bubble of detergent. Both this bubble and the barrel collapses when its external structure no longer has the internal pressure to keep either inflated. The bubble simply develops a
hole and the pressure equalizes with the outside. The barrel which is made of wooden slats is actually joined together from underneath by a rubber bladder.
The device is for institutional use and has clearly outlined instructions on the outside to ensure public safety. Low level functionaries can follow the signs for safe handling once it has been approved for use by the highest heads of sanitation. But be careful if some guy fucks with it, or else all of the air and detergent will be released and might create an insanitary condition.
The gym is the best choice of all possible placements. "Ain't it grand, the gym choice" people will say, when all the unreliable, remorseless and shameless sweaty beasts leave their exercise machines filthy with their impersonal, sexy bodies. Simply uncork the Cask of Sanitation and all wellness will burst loose. Now contains more ethical e-goo.