Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Cat Ballast

Keep the cat at ground level with Cat Ballast Booties
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Places I have found my darn cats TODAY alone: Top of the curtain rods, on top of the refrigerator, in the top cabinets above the sink, and yes, balanced on a 3 inch wide ornamental shelf six feet in the air that was also occupied by an ornamental sword that the shelf was placed there to hold.
I love cats as pets, but only when they are in the 3 feet of space directly above the floor. Therefore, I have created Kitty Ballast! It is a weighted harness and collar for your cat, and a pair of slick plastic claw-proof booties for the front paws.
The harness is weighted so as to throw off the cat's balance for jumping, and the booties are slippery enough to prevent the cat from catching the edge of a surface and pulling itself up.
This may be slightly cruel, and of course makes me wonder in a Harlan Ellison kind of way if I won't just create a race of Harrison Bergeron cats, but I think the weight-training will keep them fit and healthy and off of the ceiling fan.
Okay. I'm done.
submitinkmonkey, Mar 21 2005

Cat madness http://www.futurepu...rchives/001675.html
Scientifically proven. [moomintroll, Mar 21 2005]

Another cat ballast idea. Feline_20Variable_20Ballast
[AbsintheWithoutLeave, Mar 22 2005]

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       Hmmm. I must note that a lot of the halfbakers here are cat owners... Cat madness must exist.
froglet, Mar 21 2005
  

       Of course cat madness exists - it's a virus. Let's see if I can find a link...
moomintroll, Mar 21 2005
  

       you really don't *get* cats do you?
po, Mar 21 2005
  

       If you made a cat collar such that within the collar was a very fast spinning element, the collar would act as a gyroscope, making it more difficult for the cat to move in ways which altered its plane of spin. This would be lighter, more humane, look fabulous and also harness the power of gyroscopes.
bungston, Mar 21 2005
  

       I get cats... whenever possible.
etherman, Mar 22 2005
  

       oops, sorry UB. not you obviously. several of your ideas have proved that you do indeed *get* cats.
po, Mar 22 2005
  
      
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