Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Celebrity Bog roll

Wipe and smile!
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I think that toilet roll should have a picture of a celebrity printed on each sheet. This would have many advantages over conventional toilet roll. The celebrity in question could represent the type of paper you where buying, e.g. Lawrence LLewelyn-Bowen could be on the extra soft bog roll, Julian Clarry could be printed on pink bog roll, Bob Geldoff could be on that thick tracing paper stuff that you used to get in school, Jimmy Cranky could be on the cheap but cheeky stuff and Jade from big brother could be featured on an especially thick toilet roll. On the other hand a person could take a great deal of satisfaction in wiping their arse on a picture of Jeremy Beadle or Jo Brand. Another reason for this could be to assist cranking, imaging having Carol Smiley on your bog roll. [crank; a crap combined with a wank, any man who claims not to have done this is simply telling lies.]
big_boy_gun_bell, Oct 02 2002

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       //any man who claims not to have done this is simply telling lies// Aye, perhaps that's the case in Manchester but in civilised parts of the world it is not.
calum, Oct 02 2002
  

       <pedant>Carol Smillie</pedant> - too many teeth for my liking.
PeterSilly, Oct 02 2002
  

       You mention Jimmy Cranky[sic] - is that a piss, a crap and a wank combined, then?   

       You'd just need to vomit as well for a full house. Lo and behold, with your misspelling of Crankie I have appended and made it so.   

       <pedant>wiping</pedant>, or are you *really* sic.
sild, Oct 02 2002
  

       Isn't this just "Hello" magazine in linear form ?
8th of 7, Oct 02 2002
  
      
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