Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Chew and Blow Sex Doll

with Bed Buddy Bubblegum
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(+6, -7)
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Do you like sex but are temporarily sans partner? Do you enjoy chewing gum but hate it exploding in your face? If the answers to these questions are “Yes”, “Uh huh” or “Well, gosh I guess so”, then with Bed Buddy Bubblegum you can combine your interests to double your pleasure.

This is no ordinary gum. BBB, a careful blend of secret ingredients (hint: polyester, pizza dough, etc.) together with detailed instructions, will produce a lovely, latex lover in less than two hours of chewing. Use four sticks of gum for each limb, 10 sticks for the torso and head, and a stick for each “add-on”. Just affix the parts and, with the breath of life, your Bed Bud/Babe is complete.

Available in porky pink, chew tobacco brown or licorice black, the doll’s only downside is getting it stuck in your hair.

FarmerJohn, Jul 29 2002

[link]






       so glad you didn't twist balloons together. a bang in the middle of the night would frighten life out of me.
po, Jul 29 2002
  

       Talk about your sticky wickets....
phoenix, Jul 29 2002
  

       If you have two hours to kill before even starting anything, you have enough time to shave, put on some clean clothes and go down to the nearest bar to pick someone up. Much more satisfying.   

       (And you won't have to spend days trying to get the gum off the bed sheets.) (Depending on who you pick up, of course.)
DrCurry, Jul 29 2002
  

       I'm stuck on you, BBBabe..
yamahito, Jul 29 2002
  

       can you get freshmint? does it whiten the teeth? you chew before or after? so many questions, so little time.
po, Jul 29 2002
  

       Even more fun is the part where you use the peanut butter to get the doll out of your hair, literally and figuratively speaking.   

       And of course, I have absolutely no use for this idea whatsoever.
polartomato, Jul 30 2002
  

       "Fabulous."
waugsqueke, Jul 30 2002
  

       //a bang in the middle of the night would frighten life out of me.//   

       Heh... heh..... he said "Bang"!
Aurora, Jul 30 2002
  
      
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