Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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A few slices short of a loaf.

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Couch-side Grape Hopper

For hands-free recumbent grape consumption
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Nothing says “luxury” like being feed grapes as you recline on a couch, but not all of us can afford to pay someone to feed us grapes. As a less-expensive alternative, why not install a couch-side grape hopper? Simply pour some grapes in the top, then lie back and open your mouth. One grape pops out every twenty seconds. Munch away as you issue decrees. Laurel-leaf crown sold separately.
AO, Jan 23 2004

Swords are heavy http://www.halfbake...ife_20of_20Damocles
Et tu, Couch-side Grape Hopper? [dijontoothpaste, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

(?) Found it http://sarma.hypermart.net/press01.html
Couldn't find a reward though. [Worldgineer, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       <sets automated palm frond to "high". points at [AO]> +
k_sra, Jan 23 2004
  

       I like it! +
nomadic_wonderer, Jan 23 2004
  

       Now if I can only find a vineless grape supplier...
Worldgineer, Jan 23 2004
  

       I hope those grapes are peeled.
po, Jan 23 2004
  

       I know the goal here is to look cesarian, but I can't shake the image of a ginea pig snuffling at his inverted water bottle.   

       Whether Cleopatra would be impressed or not, this idea still deserves a bun (shall I just put it up here with your grapes?). Speaking of which, could this not also be used for other foods, such as cherry tomatos, coffee beans or cloves of garlic?
dijontoothpaste, Jan 23 2004
  

       Or a mixture of all these, so you never know what you're getting.
Worldgineer, Jan 23 2004
  

       come to think of it, psycho-analysts should provide this service
po, Jan 23 2004
  

       As a reward for breakthroughs? Interesting.
Worldgineer, Jan 23 2004
  

       Pavlov would argue that this device would improve the rate at which breakthroughs are achieved:   

       "I *am* worthwhile!" [squish]   

       "Everybody isn't out to get me!" [chomp]   

       "Jane Fonda isn't communicating with me via auto-trader ads." [crunch]   

       "Look at the time. See you next wednesday." [ca-ching]
dijontoothpaste, Jan 23 2004
  

       I think I'd rather have a robot arm than a hopper above my head. If you gave the robot arm a knife, it could peel the grapes too, as well as adding an exciting "Sword of Damocles"-style tension to your fantasies of Caesardom.
kropotkin, Jan 24 2004
  

       Would it really be enjoyable without the slow-moving austerrich (?) feathers fan??
sidi, Jan 24 2004
  

       //austerrich// oh bless, have a sugar lump for the attempt.
po, Jan 24 2004
  

       Austerrich came from Nazi Germany, didn't they? They're not around anymore.   

       I set up a palm frond fan in anno #1. Isn't that ok?
k_sra, Jan 24 2004
  

       ....peacock feathers. add color to it all. :)
babyhawk, Jan 24 2004
  

       The only utility of the palm fan is make you look threatening while you eat a pheasant with a big knife. Impressive, not luxurious. And not a bit seducing as for cleopatra.
sidi, Jan 25 2004
  

       sorry about the ossterrischt attempt, I figured none were reading at the time, nor any friend of theirs.
sidi, Jan 25 2004
  

       [kropotkin] // If you gave the robot arm a knife, it could peel the grapes too, as well as adding an exciting "Sword of Damocles"-style tension to your fantasies of Caesardom.//   

       yes, a knife would be in keeping with Cesar's legacy, woudn't it? (See link "Swords are heavy".) All I lack now is a fiddle and a torch.
dijontoothpaste, Jan 25 2004
  

       I'll take the robot arm with a set of eyes to know when I desire another grape, please.
oxen crossing, Jan 26 2004
  

       Hmmmm... I dunno. It still sorta reminds me of a system they use to reward animals in intelligence testing. (Press the green button for reward.)
spacecadet, Jan 26 2004
  

       (looking for green button)
Worldgineer, Jan 26 2004
  
      
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