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Dolphin Sex Toys

Thar She Blows!
  (+6, -2)
(+6, -2)
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Dolphins are very sexual animals. They are hindered in these pursuits somewhat by the fact that they have no prehensile appendages, and so a lone dolphin is out of luck. BUNGCO wants to help.

The Dolphin Sex Toys are a line of products intended for use by our cetacean brothers and sisters. Most of these toys resemble dolphins, more or less, with appendages and orifices designed by the experts in our Marital Aids division, with the intention of providing lonely dolphins an inanimate "partner". We hope that the provision of these toys will show our friends the dolphins that we mean well.

BUNGCO has been surprised at the demand for Dolphin Sex Toys, including many orders from regions that we did not know had any resident dolphins. We understand that daily attendance at Sea World has tripled, chiefly due to their late night, Adult shows. This success has prompted us to plan an expansion of the line to include Porpoise, Orca, and of course, Sperm Whale toys.

bungston, Aug 24 2005

"Delphinus Delight" http://www.zoofur.com/dolphin.html
Don't ask. [5th Earth, Aug 25 2005]


       prehensile appendages? define please...   

po, Aug 24 2005

       Just leave them alone, they are smarter then you.
zeno, Aug 24 2005

       didn't touch 'em. honest!
po, Aug 24 2005

       Ah, yes, the wonderful old dolphinsex.com story. Fail to see why dolphins would need sex toys when they evidently get so much pleasure from the real thing.
DrCurry, Aug 24 2005

       I believe that Dolphins do not have intercourse for pleasure. Most animals don't. So, I would think, most animals do not think about enjoying it.
babyhawk, Aug 24 2005

       Huh? Why would they do it if they didn't enjoy it?! It beggars belief that the enjoyment of sex only emerged in mankind.   

       [Yeah, yeah, I know sex was invented by the Beatles.]
DrCurry, Aug 24 2005

       [Babyhawk], you are right that most animals do not have sex for pleasure--but dolphins are one of the few speices other than humans for which there is significant evidence that they do. Besides the fact that they frequently engage in sex even when not fertile, male dolphins have actually been observed masturbating by rubbing themselves on various objects in their environment.   

       Also, I've posted a link do a dolphin-modeled dildo.
5th Earth, Aug 25 2005

       //do a dolphin modelled dildo//   

       Quite catchy that. Folksongy.   

       <sings>With a hey nonny no do a dolphin modelled dildo...
squeak, Aug 25 2005

       [5th] thanks for clarifying. I couldn't remember if Dolphins were one of those animals. I just remember touching on the subject in my Sexual Therapy course, but I couldn't find my notes to verify. I am glad that you remembered. thanks
babyhawk, Aug 25 2005

       Well then, I'm not hiring *you* when my dolphin needs sex thaerapy!
DrCurry, Aug 25 2005

       <sings, unconvinced> When I get that feelin', I need sexual therapy.
Texticle, Aug 25 2005

       Dogs like to f#ck, no doubt about it, bonobo's like to engage in all sorts of sexual stuff ( they are the closest to humans genetics-wise) and their females also have orgasms and they masturbate. Female rinoceroses have orgasms, doves love to cuddle and have the same partner for life as do many other birds, chickens and roosters love to have sex in all seasons, lions are crazy about it, sheep get wild in spring.   

       On the whole I would think animals love sex as much as the next mamal. and yes FEMALE RINOCEROSES HAVE ORGASMS Isn't that just the most wonderfull news?   

       The female orgasm by the way causes the muscles in the vagina to contract, thus stimulating the male even more and sort of sucking in the seed of the loins, it does serve a purpose in getting pregnant. Also they say it's real nice, and those mamals that can't speak would undoubitally, undoubitally I say, say the same thing if they could speak. Humans and other animals are more alike then most of us would care to admit.
zeno, Aug 26 2005

       so basically, sex is universally fun unless it's against your will, then it's only fun for the other person/mammal/animal.
scott_r_uber, Aug 26 2005

       That last statement sounds like it would be pretty accurate.
sleeka, Aug 26 2005

       So, all the Dork without the Prat? eh?
Dub, Aug 26 2005

       //with a hey nonny no do a dolphin modelled dildo//   

       you made me laugh until i cried.
monk, Aug 27 2005

       HANK: It was the dolphin. He attacked me. PEGGY: M-hm. I see. HANK: No, it was more than that. He -- you remember in that movie on Lifetime, what Gregory Harrison did to Valerie Bertinelli? PEGGY: Oh, my God! Oh, I have never -- well, actually I have had a dog hump my leg. Oh, it doesn't feel good, does it? HANK: No. I thought ignoring it would make it go away, but it just made it worse. For everyone. I've never said this about anything before, but it feels good to talk about it. PEGGY: That's good, Hank. You just let it all out. Oh, it is all so horrible, that creature swimming towards you with his hungry look, waving his -- I mean, does he even have a -- HANK: It's a mammal, Peggy. PEGGY: Oh, well, then, of course he would, I'm sorry. He is a mammal and would have mammalian organs, roughly in proportion to body size, I'm guessing? HANK: That's enough talking about it for today. PEGGY: Of course. You deal with it any way you want. This is all so disorienting, it's hard not to -- I mean -- did he know where to go? HANK: Peggy!
Giblet, Aug 28 2005

       Funny, I was going to append a link, but Googling for "steely dan" images doesn't come up with what I was after.
Dub, Aug 28 2005


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