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Erection slide whistle

Announces the status of that banana in your pocket.
  (+12, -5)
(+12, -5)
  [vote for,
against]

This is a small electronic device that consists of a rubber sensor ring that goes around the base of the penis, and a small audio playback device. The ring measures localized bloodflow, pulse, and expansion to determine when the user has an erection. When this occures, a pitch-up slide whistle sound plays. When the erection goes down, the pitch-down slide whistle sound plays.
tourist, Nov 08 2005

(?) From the archives of sexology http://www2.hu-berl...lf_stimulation.html
"One of the more bizarre of these inventions was an "erection detector" which rang a little bell in the parents' bedroom as soon as their son had an erection in his sleep" [ldischler, Nov 09 2005]

[link]






       hardly a fanfare on a tin whistle.
po, Nov 08 2005
  

       I'd rather there be a fan start than just more noise.
reensure, Nov 08 2005
  

       Those of us who can get erections really don't need any extra notification when they come and go. It is obvious at all times, sometimes painfully so.   

       And if this is directed at those of us like po who don't erections, it's still pretty bloody obvious, innit?   

       <phweeeeeeeeeep!> Um, er, excuse me, I need to, um, gotta go!
DrCurry, Nov 08 2005
  

       I erections.
daseva, Nov 08 2005
  

       So if a fit bird walks in to a crowded room a dawn chorus would occur, and after she left a much more drawn out anti-climax could be heard. Excellent idea. (+).   

       "Jonny! What are you doing in there?"   

       "Nothing mum!!" Pheuuuuwwwp.
Jacob Marley, Nov 08 2005
  

       You remember how to whistle, don't you?
Just put your lips together... and blow.
po, Nov 08 2005
  

       If an idea can turn my junk-al area into a musical instrument, I'm for it. Those of you voting against it obviously suffer from electile dysfunction.   

       EDIT: Gawd, I'm sorry. That's awful.
shapu, Nov 08 2005
  

       I want to audition for a place in either Kate Bush or Bananarama's new bands.
Dub, Nov 08 2005
  

       This idea is getting boners.
Cedar Park, Nov 08 2005
  

       "That was my phone! I swear! Come back..."
Detly, Nov 09 2005
  

       And thinking along those lines, "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
DrCurry, Nov 09 2005
  

       I didn't like this at first, but it's growing on me.
ldischler, Nov 09 2005
  

       Would make watching a porno film in a cinema hugely entertaining.
Mr Phase, Nov 09 2005
  

       It would make watching a porno film in the cinema like watching a porno film in a cinema that's packed to the rafters with Clangers.
calum, Nov 09 2005
  

       Would add a Carry-On film foley track to ordinary life.
Ian Tindale, Nov 09 2005
  

       SWF seeking a guy who can hold a note.
bristolz, Nov 09 2005
  

       Shaa - Wing!
Jinbish, Nov 09 2005
  

       bris, you make me laugh.
po, Nov 09 2005
  

       //I want to audition for a place in either Kate Bush or Banarama// - I don't think they do those sort of auditions.
wagster, Nov 10 2005
  

       Pheuuuuwwwp. :(
Dub, Nov 11 2005
  

       [Slips Dub some Viagra.]
DrCurry, Nov 11 2005
  

       Bananarama? I checked & that's how it's spelled on the album cover.
Zimmy, Nov 11 2005
  

       I'd prefer a wind up air raid siren.
etherman, Nov 11 2005
  

       HooWheeeeeeOOooo
All hands on deck.
  

       I'd prefer a tannoy:   

       *Ding - Dong* "Would the man with the slightly embarrassed yet a little smug look on his face please move his erection, it's blocking the way for the other customers, thank you" *Ding - Dong*
quaero curvus, Nov 11 2005
  

       [DrCurry]Sorry, I didn't swallow it fast enough, and I got a stiff neck.   

       [Zimmy]Cheers...It was all I could do to keep my hand on the keyboard to type what I did! :d Halfbakery briefly becomes a one-handed website.
Dub, Nov 12 2005
  
      
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