Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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I CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?

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Can-o-Spunk

a "gag" product
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That's basically it: an aerosol canister of spurious spray spooge. For parties or something.
nihilo, Aug 12 2006

To eat?! Vagina-Jam
Less fake = less fun, I say. [nihilo, Aug 12 2006]

(?) Safex brand artificial semen, £9.00 for 250ml http://www.lovehone....cfm?cat=24&id=6021
Jar, not aerosol can. [jutta, Aug 12 2006]

Recipes if you want to make your own. http://www.bigsexto...ources_fakecum.html
Don't use internally, or you're risking a yeast infection. [jutta, Aug 12 2006]

Crazy string http://www.oriental...ng-_-Crazy%20String
But not quite crazy enough... [nihilo, Aug 13 2006]

Nickelodeon's "Smatter" http://www.cpsc.gov.../prhtml02/02203.jpg
Another silly string variant, recalled in 2002 (the cans broke apart), but said to be gooier than silly string. [jutta, Aug 13 2006]

Hazbro's "Oozinator" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oozinator
Pumping, not aerosol. [jutta, Aug 13 2006]

[link]






       Bleugh -.
dbmag9, Aug 12 2006
  

       If this is what I think it is I suggest you delete it.
zeno, Aug 12 2006
  

       At least it isn't in food:genital.   

       P.S. This is pefect proof that a passing thought does not always a good halfbakery idea make.
hidden truths, Aug 12 2006
  

       I was really hoping that this was something that got your courage up for when you opened up a can of whupass by accident.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Aug 12 2006
  

       At least this could have been a can of pheremones or something.   

       Youre going to have to say something really funny soon or this'll get MFD'd really quick.   

       -
Custardguts, Aug 12 2006
  

       1. What kind of parties do you attend? 2. Where do you think your parents went wrong?
Rm Brz, Aug 12 2006
  

       This product fills an existing gaping hole in the marketplace. You can buy bogus boogers, pretend puke, bunko blood, but no imitation ejaculation. There must be at least a million and sixty-nine uses for it, most of which have yet to be imagined.

Vagina-Jam (another underappreciated (and much maligned) product suggestion) sold separately.
nihilo, Aug 12 2006
  

       I happen to agree with the author - there is a gap in the market, FOR A REASON. [-]
Mr Phase, Aug 12 2006
  

       I have been bested in the linking department by Jutta herself (moves down one level on the podium, removes medal from around neck)
normzone, Aug 12 2006
  

       > This product fills an existing gaping hole in the marketplace.
I'm sure it has, I'm sure it has.
  

       [Goes off to play with medal, mumbling to herself: "Oooh. Shiny!"]
jutta, Aug 12 2006
  

       Great, so joke jism exists! It must not be such an unwanted product after all, eh friends? Now if it were only in a spray can so it could be propelled with the convenience (and fun) of Silly String!

  

       [Rm Brz] -- (1), wouldn't you like to know! As it happens, this ingenious brainstorm actually occurred at a recent such gathering. (2), I don't think they did at all. The product of a gynecologist and a psychologist, I think I'm right on the money.
nihilo, Aug 13 2006
  

       [Jutta], your endless fount of juicy annos on this one is blowing me away.
nihilo, Aug 13 2006
  

       Bag-'O-Shite
gnomethang, Aug 13 2006
  

       Here's an idea I didn't expect to come across.
Ian Tindale, Aug 13 2006
  

       Come, come [Ian]. Stop these puns.
methinksnot, Aug 13 2006
  

       [nihilio], your idea about having it available in a spray can is right on the money - shot out of a can would work great.
normzone, Aug 14 2006
  

       I remember reading an interview with Pedro Almodóvar where he was questioned as to whether or not the spunk used in a wanking-off-the-balcony scene in - aah, can't remember the name of the film and am too scared to google at work - was real spunk or a spunk substitute. It was, apparently, hair conditioner. So there you go. Conditioner in an aerosol.
calum, Aug 14 2006
  

       I was wondering when we'd get to the hair care products.   

       One great use for such a product would be when guys want to fake their orgasms, too.
Canuck, Aug 14 2006
  

       I think the not so subtle sound of "PSSSSSSSST" at the moment of orgasm would give it away, [Canuck]. You would have to put some sort of silencer on it , a quiet can of cum, if you will.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Aug 14 2006
  
      
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