h a l f b a k e r y
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In the Pacific Ocean the same vertical space on a map
contains different time zones, islands not far from each
live 24 hours apart. Time to take this to its illogical
conclusion Extreme Time Zones!
Continuing on from UTC-12 and UTC+14 are UTC+15,
UTC-15, etc. etc. they overlap
until in every zone you can skip or go back a whole day, and
more. (see illustration below) E.G. if youre in Senegal,
week in UTC-168 or fast-forward to next month by changing
Dates are no longer resigned to the history books you can
perform new acts and hold events on past dates, or beat
everyone to it by making your mark in the year 5000. Miss a
deadline? Wasted years of your life? Simply change time
and voila! Youre there again. Leap time zone every 24
for as many chances as you like to hone the perfect date.
Likewise, try out different possibilities for your future.
like it, go back to UTC+0 and try again.
Maybe a user-run website something like wikipedia can
track of all the new events happening throughout time.
Citation needed though!!
Go on a family holiday to prehistoric times from the
of your living room. Sure it might not look the same, but
the same time
parents! Get creative with caveman
costumes and sabre-tooth pet cats. Who will be the first
person to travel the entire course of history? Visit famous
dates get your time zone passport stamped in
museums and collect them all.
Parents! Compete for the worlds oldest offspring by giving
birth in UTC-quadrillion and insist your child spends the rest
of their life in UTC+quattuordecillion or worse.
Romantics! Inscribe your love on the same tree for a
centuries. Propose by writing in rock a thousand years ago,
then reveal it as destiny. Why not live on every valentines
day at the same time?? Because the time zones overlap, if
can keep track of it no-ones stopping you from living in
multiple time zones at once. It could be Valentines,
Christmas, Halloween, New Year, April Fools and
International Peace Day forever if you wish. What a life! Or
dwell in darkness on days like the outbreak of wars, natural
disasters and the loss of loved ones. Some people spend
day on their birthday. Will you get sick of them?
spent every day on YOUR birthday! What a sweet, kind
Some people prefer to only leap time zones when asleep. It
feels more authentic, like an unlimited Groundhog Day. Its
important to change your calendars and clocks to reflect
new time zone, so you can really wake up embodying your
future self, or balance out a bad day from your childhood
going to Disney World.
Maybe its a slippery slope but some time zones could be
restricted, like those landing on famous political dates.
Maybe they can lawfully only be visited on guided tours to
prevent the addition of disrespectful events. Some time
could be purchased and reserved by lofty corporations to do
their business there for no reason. Buildings and
can travel continuously back through time zones to keep
associated with specific days.
But I dont know if its better to think of the time zones on
separate dates or if everything just happens on the same
day.... :D Happy birthday everyone, including the
Extreme UTC Time Zones map for 1/1/2018
illustration of the idea [Treejuice, Nov 26 2017]
Hmmm, seems a little familiar, not that I'm saying anything, mind you
[not_morrison_rm, Nov 30 2017]
||"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance." (Steven Wright)
||I guess that sums it up pretty nicely :D
||Would these time zones go up in a spiral? So latitudes would be divided as well as longitudes. The equator could be set at 0 (modern) time, whilst going north puts you in the future and going south in the past. This could be sold as a way for the north of England to leapfrog London, putting us years ahead of the southerners. The spirals would (naturally) follow the golden spiral, reaching infinite time travel levels at the poles.
||haha, yes you could do that Selky, that could be a good way
of organising it and giving each time zone a physical space!
but I also like the idea of being able to go to any time,
||Here in the UK, we use a system of daylight savings time. In the
autumn the clocks go back, and everyone is grateful for the extra
hour of sleep; in the spring the clocks go forward, and everyone
moans that they've lost an hour.
||I've suggested in the past that we could avoid this annual
disappointment by putting the clocks back an hour in the spring,
too, instead of forward.
||Maybe your Extreme UTC Time Zones will make it practical to do
this while still retaining something that resembles a useful calendar.
||I feel like there is a flipping component to this theory.
If I am in UTC -24, then I am in also in UTC 0.
||Mathematically; time is all used up at the end of the day, burned like wood in the fire. The calculation is not based on a universal state, but only ever on subjective ones. It comes, like wind, in 4 foot chunks. So every ten million chunks, God has to throw in ten million more logs. Just to keep things going. But you only ever get ash; you never get more logs.
||I looked at your map; normally they incarcerate people like you, throwing away the key etc., but it's a very positive concept you have going; they should probably put you in a very comfortable cell, padded floor and ceiling.
||Tomorrow, and yesterday, and last Thursday creeps in this
petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded
||//Turmoil// Not worth the money, mate. In any case, turms are endangered.
||^^^^^^^^^^^ Conundrum Alert whoop whoop whoop etc
||"The earliest known reference to French toast is in the Apicius, a collection of Latin recipes dating to the 4th or 5th ..." when France wasn't called France at the time...
||Was France invented by someone French, and were they
French at the time? Who would have so much Gaul to do
such a thing? And which timezone were they in?
||Maybe they called the country after the toast. Seems reasonable.
||Little known fact : America is named after the Sioux phrase ahm-aric-aa, meaning "hot dog".
||(okay, actually "a starving wolf would piss on that" ; translation software was still in its infancy)