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Extreme sports for the aged

Adrenaline-fuelled end-of-life plan
  [vote for,

Thanks to the wonderful advances in medicine, public health and overall lifestyle, we now face a demographic crisis. Many more people will live longer, happier lives. At the same time, there will be increasing pressure on social care systems and the economy.

For me, I don’t want to spend my last years in a care home, bored, confused and a burden on society and my family.

So, I’m proposing a dangerous sports club for the elderly. Sign the disclaimers, check your will, and get some excitement into your autumn years. Free-climbing, BASE jumping, arctic exploring, hang-gliding... find your limits, and exceed them!

Better than being abandoned on an ice floe.

Frankx, Oct 23 2019

Particularly suited to elderly Englishmen Barnes-Wallace_20Of...Skydiving_20Society
[MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 24 2019]


       Probably better than ending up as 400 portions of Soylent Green ... [+]
8th of 7, Oct 23 2019

       SWEEEET!!! I'm in. Sign me up. Let me play. Put me in, coach. Yes.
blissmiss, Oct 24 2019

       Can't remember the comedian but this one sketch had me laughing pretty good about how octogenarians should get a free pass to try everything in life which was forbidden.   

       "Want to try Heroin? Why the heck not? You're not going to be around long enough to get hooked. Naked skydiving? Sure, whatever, just sign the waver."   

       ...or something to that effect.
Gave me a good chuckle.

       // Naked skydiving? Sure, //   

       ... as long as you're also handing out free blindfolds to any spectators.   

       Besides, given the air temperature at 5000' and the effects of a 150kt airstream on an unclad human, the most likely outcome is not excitement, but death from exposure. Parachute suits are typically windproof, and well-insulated.   

       Military parachutists don't need them because they typically jump at low altitudes, and deploy their chute immediately; then their airspeed drops to a level at which normal clothing can provide sufficient protection for the short period of their descent.   

       Then again, if that's what the client wants ....
8th of 7, Oct 24 2019

       May I recommend...<link>
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 24 2019

       [Bliss] Thank you! That’s the most enthusiastic response I’ve ever had! This really is my personal plan as I get older- I’m going to have fun like nothing matters anymore.   

       //naked skydiving// not for me, but hey, who am I to judge?   

       //death by exposure//...probably not, but that’s the point really.   

       //well insulated//... not really, they’re more about aerodynamics and hand-holds.   

       //recommend//... I’ll definitely be trying that one, if I survive long enough
Frankx, Oct 24 2019

       //hand-holds// Well, if you're skydiving naked that won't be a problem.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 24 2019

       //won’t be a problem//... speak for yourself!
Frankx, Oct 24 2019

       I'll sign up for no-return Mars landings if you can finagle it.
tatterdemalion, Oct 24 2019

       We have a space available but we're trying to trick [xenzag] into accepting it.
8th of 7, Oct 24 2019


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