Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Giant Pie-Crapping Mechanical Duck

Well, why not?
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It's a giant robotic duck that just waddles around a plaza, open-air market, or other public space. It has a sign attached to it advertising its sponsor's products and/or services. Every now and then it emits a loud quack, and a hatch opens up on the bottom and a pie (cherry, banana cream, apple, or key lime) drops out. The standard pie assortment may be augmented with seasonal selections, such as pumpkin or rhubarb.

People are sure to follow the duck around hoping for a chance to secure the precious pie ejected from its mechanical cloaca, thus all but guaranteeing attention to the sponsor. Attendants will doubtless have to remain on site, both to restock the pies periodically and to right the duck should it become trapped or fall over, but this is not expected to be a significant logistical problem.

ytk, Jan 24 2014

Giant Robot Chicken Soda Machine Giant_20Robot_20Chicken_20Soda_20Machine
A not dissimilar idea [UnaBubba, Jan 24 2014]

http://en.m.wikiped...wiki/Digesting_Duck seems relevant [calum, Jan 24 2014]

Demon Duck Of Doom http://en.m.wikiped.../Demon_duck_of_doom
How people will perceive it [UnaBubba, Jan 24 2014]

[link]






       You could also have a vending machine version where the duck mouth is positioned so you can feed it money and the pie comes out the back.
JesusHChrist, Jan 24 2014
  

       I can hardly wait for the malf, the glowing red eyes and the subsequent "Pie-Crapping Mechanical Duck Massacre" headlines...
not_morrison_rm, Jan 24 2014
  

       Not terribly unlike something I posted some time ago. <link>
UnaBubba, Jan 24 2014
  

       For added irony, it could excrete chicken pies.
8th of 7, Jan 24 2014
  

       Or duck pies.
UnaBubba, Jan 24 2014
  

       PIE FIGHT!!!
RayfordSteele, Jan 24 2014
  

       To clarify, I'm envisioning this as more like one of those wind-up duck toys rather than a realistic (albeit enormous) facsimile of a member of family Anatidae. Just in case there was any confusion.
ytk, Jan 24 2014
  

       When dada ideas like these become so surreal that they effectively fall into the realm of a mashup of random thoughts, I start to lose interest.
RayfordSteele, Jan 24 2014
  

       Hmmm... what was that, dear?
UnaBubba, Jan 24 2014
  

       The "crapping" part of the title bothers me. Why no chocolate pudding pies? Also pie is almost always a last choice dessert isn't it? Perhaps this duck bot should have a soft serve chocolate ice cream dispensing sphincter and then it could come back around and sneeze rainbow sprinkles onto its ice cream deposit. Imagine stepping in duck poo and suddenly your shoe is super cooled it would change your day especially in the summer time. Imagine seeing a group of hungry children with spoons chasing a robotic duck.
vfrackis, Feb 04 2014
  

       In St. Neots, there is a very long tradition of goose (made of wicker, and worn by a person) who walks around depositing small christmas gifts from an undisclosed rearward orifice.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 04 2014
  
      
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