Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Giant Robot Chicken Soda Machine

A soft drink delivery system to amuse us, young or old.
  (+12, -3)(+12, -3)
(+12, -3)
  [vote for,

Trundling ominously towards me was the biggest chicken I had ever seen... perhaps as large as an ostrich, though with shorter legs and neck. It stopped by my table and looked, quizzically, at me and my lunch companion. My companion waved it away.

I reached into my pocket and extracted a few coins, tossing them into the air. The "chicken" expertly caught the coins in its beak as I announced "Mountain Dew" in a clear voice.

The chicken pirouetted gently to present its rear toward me and began to fluff up its feathers, before depositing a can of Mountain Dew and a clean plastic tumbler and paper-wrapped drinking straw on the table beside my plate.

It then performed a short, shuffling dance that it may have learned in a German Bierhall at some point, crowed a few times and bowed to me before toddling off to the next table, chortling happily to itself.

My companion glared after it. "I can't stand those things", she hissed, "Why on Earth do you encourage them?"

UnaBubba, Apr 15 2012

http://www.maltesers.com/ [not_morrison_rm, Apr 16 2012]

Please use eggzact change http://robotchicken.com/
[4whom, Apr 16 2012]

This chicken will cut you... http://thebloggess....-pick-your-battles/
Pick your battles carefully... [normzone, Apr 16 2012, last modified Apr 17 2012]

(?) Chicken flavoured drinks http://www.muntean.com/beer/
[AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 24 2012]


       Every once in a while, someone posts the most amazing, thought-provoking and world-changing proposal for an invention on the Halfbakery. This isn't one of them.
sqeaketh the wheel, Apr 16 2012

       It would change the world, though not in the way you might like.
UnaBubba, Apr 16 2012

       Dispensing soft drinks - maybe. Dispensing chocolate bars - definitely not. [+]
AusCan531, Apr 16 2012

       I'd be more concerned it dispensed yoghurt.
UnaBubba, Apr 16 2012

       Maltesers might also be bit off-putting. Still, gets my + vote. Would those be striped chickens?
not_morrison_rm, Apr 16 2012

       I had chicken strips for lunch.
AusCan531, Apr 16 2012

       //It then performed a short, shuffling dance that it may have learned in a German Bierhall at some point, crowed a few times and bowed to me before toddling off to the next table//   

       All that effort on the robo-chicken's part for a simply poultry reward..saddening.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 16 2012

       I remember this one...   

       "I'LL BE BRAAAWCK!"
RayfordSteele, Apr 16 2012

       This is ridiculous. [Ubie] with a companion??
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 16 2012

       <loud stage whisper>   

       She was his mother!   

       </loud stage whisper>
Alterother, Apr 16 2012

       She said she was my mother. Her liver was delicious... Fresh broad bean kernels & parsnip and sweet potato mash, flavoured with honey and cumin and accompanied by a big Amarone della Valpolicella... sublime.   

       Brains for entree: Ciabatta breadcrumbs and a white truffle & orange buerre blanc with steamed white asparagus.
UnaBubba, Apr 16 2012

       Odd, we must be on the same menu day...I just had that. TODAY.
blissmiss, Apr 17 2012

       You ate [UnaBubba]'s mother's liver today?
Alterother, Apr 17 2012

       Perhaps [blissy] was my lunch companion?
UnaBubba, Apr 17 2012

       One would never know, around here. I had lunch with a baker once, and the rest was history. (History aside, it was a good lunch.)
blissmiss, Apr 17 2012

       You squeaked through that one OK, didn't you, [bliss]?
UnaBubba, Apr 17 2012

blissmiss, Apr 17 2012

       Mountain Dew? You've gotta be kidding!
gnomethang, Apr 17 2012

       I'd rather that than Mountin' Dew.
UnaBubba, Apr 17 2012

       This explains a lot. The caffeine dosage in those things has certain effects...
normzone, Apr 18 2012

       //Trundling ominously towards me was the biggest chicken I had ever seen...//   

       Yep,the protagonist yellow Big Bird sends shivers down my spine. As do Coulrophobians.
skinflaps, Apr 22 2012

       There is a certain cartoon show called "Robot Chicken". It is insane in a diverting but crude and juvenile way.
sninctown, Apr 22 2012

       This 'bake is much better than the show.
Alterother, Apr 22 2012

       Ok, I know it's a little crude, but could the enormous mecha chicken contain a water tank, and then go wee on forest fires? Doing a double act with Smokey the Bear or summat like that...
not_morrison_rm, Apr 23 2012

       //This 'bake is much better than the show//
Though you'd need a micrometer to measure the margin.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 23 2012

       I never intended this chicken to be a paragon of prudishness.
UnaBubba, Apr 23 2012

       As long as its not chicken-flavoured soda...
prufrax, Apr 23 2012

       I believe someone actually marketed / markets turkey-flavoured soft drinks, in the US?
UnaBubba, Apr 23 2012

       Turkey has a flavo[u]r?
mouseposture, Apr 24 2012

       Just like chicken, only bigger.
UnaBubba, Apr 24 2012

       They only omit the "u" in "Bourg" to avoid seeming French.
mouseposture, Apr 24 2012

       I think that was an initiative from [8 of 7], wasn't it? Seeing as how he loves the French with such unbridled passion.
UnaBubba, Apr 24 2012

       There is no "you" in The Borg. Only "Us".
AusCan531, Apr 24 2012

       //The Borg.//   

       is mighty quiet right now, suspicious isn't it?
not_morrison_rm, Apr 24 2012

       The Borg arev off on a joint expedition with the Field Testing Division of the Heathen Institute for Inadvisably Applied Science & Asteroid Repurposing. Since those life- size inflatable Rudolf Hess dolls keep showing up on the Institute's front lawn, Alterorder Inc. has decided to find out if they have any useful applications in desert warfare. [8th of 7] has gone along as a native guide. Currently, I believe they're operating out of the back room of a pub in Torquay.
Alterother, Apr 24 2012


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