Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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Halfbakery!

Parody of Weird Al's 'Hardware Store'
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Nothin' ever (ever) happens on the Net
Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news
He said, "Hey! You know that domain
Halfbakery.com? Well somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a site
For people with loose screws"
Since then I've been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since half three
For this time to finally arrive
I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope it's six real soon

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
Until six when the phones are cheap
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the
Goin' to the (half) bake I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (half) I'm goin' to the (half) oh yes I'm goin' to
Halfbakery

On my swivel chair I sat there all night
Right in front of the screen, then as soon as it was light
I got myself right off to the kichen
You know, I had to get breakfast
Gonna get me a croissant and some jam
Gonna get back to the study - my favo(u)rite room of my house
New idea - posted it now;
It got fishboned! Darn! Curse! Blast!
Guys with no life, like me, James and Kurt
Post ideas that will obviously never work
Brand new newbies just don't get it
It's all 'wibni's and 'MFD's
And they're doing a holiday switch
The fish are buns and the buns are fish>
And every 27th annotation
Is by or mentions me

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
Until six when the phones are cheap
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the
Goin' to the (half) bake I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (half) I'm goin' to the (half) oh yes I'm goin' to
Halfbakery

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
Until six when the phones are cheap
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the Goin' to the
Goin' to the (half) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (half) I'm goin' to the (half) oh yes I'm goin' to
Halfbakery

Would you look at all that crap...

They've got... army wrenches, bath reheaters, plunger seats, traffic meters
small reactors, geotrackers, shaving squads, door-path beaters
water tunics, body-dryers, sonar goggles, days for liars
mugging wallets, whatchacallits, copper-coated auto tires
flashy bangers, marmite butter, wrinkle irons, songs from nutters
toilet louvers, stick removers, denim tape, and tennis gutters
bedside faucets, moldy fables, Holographic coffee-tables
books by email, clockwork detail, rants against dumb warning labels
scientific exploration touching goldfish transportation
error-proofing, poem spoofing quasi-mental masturbation
wind compressors, fat detectors doggie fizzles, steam injectors
seven ages, shower gauges office cats and jerk ejectors
any-position sunvisors bluetooth chips for your incisors
music catchers, Margaret Thatcher Pet and PIN and phone disguisers
disco panels, newbie bakers bad demeanors, trouble makers
slink-o-vators, moderators antistupidexpressionators

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
Until six when the phones are cheap
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the
Goin' to the (half) bake I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (half) I'm goin' to the (half) oh yes I'm goin' to
Halfbakery
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the
Goin' to the (half) bake I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (half) I'm goin' to the (half) oh yes I'm goin' to
Halfbakery
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the
Goin' to the (half) bake I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (half) I'm goin' to the (half) oh yes I'm goin' to
Halfbakery

Thanks to [RayfordSteele] for writing (probably the best part of the song) the third verse.

modular, Nov 02 2003

[link]






       * * * * * * * * *
* APPLAUSE *
* * * * * * * * *
thumbwax, Nov 02 2003
  

       Whoever comes up with a suitable 3rd verse will have my utmost respect.
modular, Nov 02 2003
  

       I'm not quite half-done with it. It seems I've short-circuited the bakery search engine...   

       I don't think 'Hardware Store' is a parody of anything else. It's incredibly fast.
RayfordSteele, Nov 02 2003
  

       Okay, finished.   

       They've got...
army wrenches, bath reheaters,
plunger seats, traffic meters
small reactors, geotrackers,
shaving squads, door-path beaters
  

       water tunics, body-dryers,
sonar goggles, days for liars
mugging wallets, whatchacallits,
copper-coated auto tires
  

       flashy bangers, marmite butter,
wrinkle irons, songs from nutters
toilet louvers, stick removers,
denim tape, and tennis gutters
  

       bedside faucets, moldy fables,
Holographic coffee-tables
books by email, clockwork detail,
rants against dumb warning labels
  

       scientific exploration
touching goldfish transportation
error-proofing, poem spoofing
quasi-mental masturbation
  

       wind compressors, fat detectors
doggie fizzles, steam injectors
seven ages, shower gauges
office cats and jerk ejectors
  

       position-anywhere sunvisors
blootooth chips for your incisors
music catchers, Margaret Thatcher
Pet and PIN and phone disguisers
  

       disco panels, newbie bakers
bad demeanors, trouble makers
slink-o-vators, moderators
antistupidexpressionators
RayfordSteele, Nov 02 2003
  

       Excellent, [Ray]. Brilliant.
modular, Nov 02 2003
  

       Nice work, [modular] and [Rayford].
Protein, Nov 08 2003
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

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