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Handset Orientation Devices

am I speaking into the bit that listens and listening to the bit that speaks?
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(+1)
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With both my phones I am never quite sure that it is positioned correctly. The question: Am I speaking into the bit that listens and listening to the bit that speaks? Always gets a Maybe answer.

Product A: Handset looks like a big red arrow and says "Point me up". It assumes I am standing or sitting up. Arrow head had earpiece Arrow tail has the mike.

Product B: Big red lips where you speak and a Green pointed elf ear where you listen.

Now I can answer the phone with confidence. ()() 0)/

one day later Product C: Big red lips where you listen and a Green pointed elf ear where you speak.

Product D: Out line of your hand (or some universal hand) stenciled onto the phone in luminous ink.

Product: Full head a la Hippo

popbottle, Sep 24 2014

hippo's head Lifesize_20head_20mobile_20phone
see his anno [popbottle, Sep 30 2014]

[link]






       Better to go the other way: make both ends capable of both, so it doesn't matter which way you hold it. Some are part-way there anyway (eg. HTC One with speakers at both ends).
neutrinos_shadow, Sep 24 2014
  

       Why would you speak into lips and listen to an ear? Makes more sense the other way around.
pocmloc, Sep 25 2014
  

       [+] for pocmloc's campaign for removing ambiguity.
calum, Sep 25 2014
  

       If you were just after north-south alignment, just clamp it onto a dog, apparently they tend to orient n-s when taking a dump, well according to IgNobel
not_morrison_rm, Sep 25 2014
  

       [calum] yes, [pocmloc] makes a valid point. In fact it would be best to make a mobile phone in the shape of a life-size head, such as you might find on a shop mannequin. You would use the phone by holding the head upside down pressed closely to your cheek (i.e. face, not buttock), such that you can talk into the microphone concealed in the ear and listen to the speaker concealed in the mouth.

Maybe I'll post this as a separate idea.
hippo, Sep 25 2014
  
      
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