h a l f b a k e r y
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The other day, I laid out all my pairs of jeans (2) on my
bed to establish whether I needed to buy any new ones
(yes). It struck me that a pair of jeans looks a bit like half
a chromosome. It also struck me that the odds of
someone else having the exact same collection of jeans, in
sizes and with the same wear would be
astronomical (the frayed ends represent a hyper variable
region, which often reduces in length with age).
Now, my observations could well be useful. Genetics, as
we all know, has provided a pleasing diversion in biology.
We were all very impressed with the peas and long stringy
stuff, and the worryingly obsessive "sequencing" malarkey.
However, science must progress, and I'm pleased to report
that the focus has shifted back to the important business
of figuring out how Ca2+ gets where its going, while the
DNA sits around trying not to acquire mutations.
Now, we all know "genetic fingerprinting" is all well and
good, but there are many problems with this: DNA is
invisible, you need all sorts of fancy equipment to visualize
and manipulate it.... worst of all, you'll need a molecular
biologist.... and they never wash their cups and insist,
against all evidence to the contrary, that 1ul can be
accurately pipetted. DNA is fragile, it has a tough
reputation but believe me, a couple of cycles in the
washing machine and it soon gives up.
So jeans. They're tough, versatile, visible to the naked
eye and can be used to identify an individual. Simply
upload you're personal Jeans-Chromosome Karyotype
(example chromosome <link>). And you will be
Even if you're burnt to a crisp in a horrendous fire, the
rivets, buttons and zip will still be around, to locate your
charred remains and bring vital solace to your grieving
[bs0u0155, May 06 2013]
||I wear the clothes and the jeans of the dead. All from thrift shops. A jeanome of my closet would be of 10 plus people. Still a study would at least please the Japanese.
||What about those who don't own any jeans?
||//the important business of figuring out how Ca2+
gets where its going, while the DNA sits around//
Ahem. The calcium is only moving around in order
to keep the DNA going.
||And as for //a couple of cycles in the washing
machine and it soon gives up//, I once
inadvertently put a screwtop Eppendorf of oligo
through the washing machine. It was fine.
||I might also point out that, in contrast to DNA,
jeans will be subject to inheritance of acquired
characteristics, which really just makes a mockery
of, well, everything. Moreovermore, the JCR is
still at an early stage of development and requires
vast quantities of expensive denim and even more