h a l f b a k e r y
Recalculations place it at 0.4999.
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Piercing parts of your body that can be shown to the public is pure expresionism, you want others to see what you think of yourself. Your making a statement not only to yourself but to others.
I think a much more subtle way would be to surgically cut a slit in the skin and put a stud or a ring on
your internal organs. Make an internal statement about smoking, put a ring in your lung.
The spleen was once seen as the seat of melancholy, anger or vexation. Put a 5 inch stud throught it and you know that you can conquer your own emotions. When your feeling down or blue, think of that stainless steel bar piercing through that spongy glandular organ and take heart. You are better than that.
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The old 'arrow through the head' gag prop. |
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The surgeon says to you, sometime in the future, as she is digging around in your body, "I can see from the tri-diamond ring on your spleen that you were quite the partier once." |
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As long as you don't want to fly on an airplane.... |
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Fashionable stomach staples. |
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You could put a mesh of metal around all your abdominal organs, like reinforced concrete, and you would never need to do sit-ups again. They might need a pneumatic drill to do any surgery on you later though.
This idea is not only dangerous, it's disgusting and pointless. Well, you first, mate. |
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This would be real fun if you worked in an area subject to regular metal detection checks. |
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Pissing myself with laughter at the dismay of those same young cretins with fake "tribal" tattoos on arms and legs, when they grow up and find that "tatts" spread and blur with age. |
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Ah, Gawd, Unabubba, it is a universal truth: one's entire physique spreads and blurs with age...except one's teeth, I guess. Good thing us middle-aged chaps are so much wilier now than we were in our twenties--what we can no longer accomplish through sheer physical exuberance we can now accomplish by cleverness. |
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Or did I just disprove my own hypothesis, there? |
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Lots of wimmenfolk who've adorned themselves will be in Old Folks Homes some day - that should be a hoot |
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