Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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Internet Pain

Now let's see that asshole on the chat act tough
  (+10, -7)
(+10, -7)
  [vote for,
against]

The internet is too safe. Well, physically that is. You can have your entire bank account drained or have your credit report screwed, but you can't be physically beaten over the internet. How many times have you been in a chat when the following conversation occured:
Charlie_23: Did anyone catch that news report about Taco Bell? PsYko666KiLLa_ThuG: im gonna kick ur ass bitch
Charlie_23: What?
PsYko666KiLLa_ThuG: im gonna beat u up i know hackers that can find out where you live
Charlie_23: Yeah, okay
Luv_Stuff^_^: Sounds like someone is a bit hostile LOL :)
PsYko666KiLLa_ThuG: there hacking u right now bitch
Charlie_23: Let me guess: You're 13, get beat at school every day, and you listen to Insane Clown Posse?
PsYko666KiLLa_ThuG: ICP 4 eva f*** u im gonna kill u
Now, little Terrence (PsYko666KiLLa_ThuG) wouldn't be talking like that if his 110 pound weak ass really met up with Charlie, a former boxing instructor. If we can somehow use technology to institute a method of inflicting pain depending on actual physical attributes (i.e. Charlie would beat Psyko's head in just like he would in real life), then we can create a wonderful internet atmosphere full of barroom brawls.
AfroAssault, Jun 22 2001

(?) Painstation 2.5 http://www.painstation.de/new/index.html
Now with exchangable whips! (No remote component, though.) [jutta, Nov 28 2005]

Let's take it to the streets! Assaultable
A somewhat relevant shamless self-promotion that deserves more fish [MikeD, May 22 2009]

[link]






       I, too, enjoyed the transcript, so I voted yes. A little more technical detail would be welcome, though.
sera, Jun 22 2001
  

       im gonna kick ur ass afroassalt
PsYko666KiLLa_ThuG, Jun 22 2001
  

       Hmm, I had a related idea this morning, of a world-wide network of grown-up hackers with basball bats. A friend of mine has just spent the morning repairing his forum page after an oik from Brazil defaced it. I don't know who is proud of this person apart from himself - the skills required were minimal as the vulnerability was a recently-published one so all you need is time on your hands - but I feel sure that a prompt visit from a couple of local brazilians with big sticks would put paid to his activities. This would be far more effective than any Clancy-esque netforce.
sweavo, Jun 12 2002
  

       Hmm. Like a sort of whloe-body force-feedback steering wheel ?   

       Most catroomers are pallid, tubby geeks with the muscle tone of warm putty (I'm looking at my reflection in the monitor here). I would not be worried by being pummled by them ...
8th of 7, Jun 12 2002
  

       For some reason this idea reminds me of the "black ice" from *Neuromancer*.
earl, Jun 12 2002
  

       Bit weak in terms of an actual idea. I like the transcript and I like the concept though. Perhaps participating people could put an electronic boxing glove and pad on their desks. The strength of the shot given by the glove being judged by how hard the other person hit their pad.
hidden truths, Oct 21 2005
  

       + For a fraction of a second I thought [AfroAssault] was back.
Zimmy, May 20 2009
  

       Yeah, me too.
AfroAssault, May 22 2009
  

       tsk, what a disappointment...
po, May 22 2009
  

       I once followed a kid from chat room to chat room, in my younger years, who was claiming to be a soldier.   

       I asked him what unit he was in, being a soldier, myself. His answer: "Tiger Company". He failed to know what battalion "Tiger Company" was in. He failed to know what a battalion even was.   

       If I could have, I would have kicked his ass.   

       [+]
MikeD, May 22 2009
  

       [21]. seems like the whole system is well balanced, doesn't it? The //pallid, pasty geek// has the technological finesse but not the fortitude, whereas the enlisted meat-head has the fortitude but lacks the technological finesse.
MikeD, May 23 2009
  

       I thought I saw a ghost.
blissmiss, May 24 2009
  

       [up_on_cloud_nine] - Not my handiwork, but I commend the person responsible.

Unless it was me and I forgot.
AfroAssault, May 26 2009
  
      
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