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Islam 2.0

A modern schism
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This idea is a new religion called Islam 2.0. It's based on Islam but is expressly non-violent by way of a 6th pillar: "Non-violence". The non-violence extends to non-believers and women. Coincidentally, the vast majority of existing Muslims are already adherents to Islam 2.0. This idea could also be applied to other religions, such as Christianity.

The 99% of non-extremist, non-misogynistic Muslims should host a reformation to actually distance themselves from the crazies. Seriously, this is getting stupid.

Update: Names and labels are powerful in religion. You'll never convince the extremists to call themselves anything other than Muslim/Islamic. So, it's up to the moderates to change the game: admit that the extremists have ruined the party and distance themselves by adopting a new name and a 6th pillar or what have you.

the porpoise, Sep 05 2014

mitchell and webb https://www.youtube...watch?v=rywVlfTtlMY
[zeno, Sep 11 2014]

[link]






       Nah. They're wayyyyy outnumbered by the 1%.   

       But seriously, if the 99% can't get the 1% in order, it's time for a radical restructuring.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 05 2014
  

       (scroll recovered from a dig somewhere in the middle east...provisionally dated 1492...."swikdb uhufhuh" Lit. "Christians should host a reformation to actually distance themselves from the crazy Conquistadors."   

       "iihajoeo jjqiooooo" Lit. "Nah. They're wayyyyy outnumbered by the 1%, Offendi")
not_morrison_rm, Sep 05 2014
  

       Could American prisons not just employ them all as executioners?
xenzag, Sep 06 2014
  

       Arguably, every Muslim who has *not* sworn allegiance to the new "Caliph" has, de facto, already done this. Although, I suppose there might be some way in which they could publicly line up to say "go away, you're not our Caliph".   

       I wonder whether the Saudi authorities could somehow exclude declared IS supporters from the Hajj - and whether, if they could, they would dare.
pertinax, Sep 06 2014
  

       Wilbur: When horses fly in this 2.0 version , they buy a ticket like the rest of us? Mr. Ed
popbottle, Sep 06 2014
  

       //every Muslim who has *not* sworn allegiance to the new "Caliph" has   

       Hmm, well, Mohammed after his fun time trying not to get killed by the Mecca Chamber of Commerce hitmen, decided on a more cellular structure. Ergo, you have your imam, and listen to what he says, when you feel like it. What the chief imam says is not rules, more like guidelines...   

       It does tend to make jurisprudence even more of a mess than in the West, as all the judges just make up their own minds.
not_morrison_rm, Sep 06 2014
  

       They might want to do this before the fun and games of never-ending warfare goes nuclear. Civilized infidels getting nuked are going to turn very uncivilized very quickly with their massive arsenal of thermonuclear weapons. At that point the question of whose side God is on will be purely academic.
doctorremulac3, Sep 06 2014
  

       //They might want to do this before the fun and games of never-ending warfare ...   

       That's probably what the moslems said about WWI and WW2 "Why are these stupid Christians killing each other, and can they go do it somewhere else?"   

       It's going to take quite a while for them to rack up the fatalities to the level the Battle of the Somme, or Stalingrad..
not_morrison_rm, Sep 06 2014
  

       //That's probably what the moslems said about WWI and WW2 "Why are these stupid Christians killing each other, and can they go do it somewhere else?"//   

       The Muslim Ottoman Empire was an ally of Germany in WW1, they were at the cutting edge of the killing. The only reason the Ottoman Empire didn't join into WW2 was it got destroyed in WW1.
doctorremulac3, Sep 06 2014
  

       er. Radical restructuring is exactly what they are doing.
pashute, Sep 06 2014
  

       //It's going to take quite a while for them to rack up the fatalities to the level the Battle of the Somme, or Stalingrad..//   

       Unless the terrorists get those nukes they've been dreaming about. Then Somme and Stalingrad will look like a picnic by comparison. On both sides.
doctorremulac3, Sep 06 2014
  

       //The Muslim Ottoman Empire was an ally of Germany in WW1,   

       So was Austria-Hungaria, but no one went, "damn those Christians" so why say "damn those Moslems"...I do seem to recollect it says something about not killing people in the bible, but doesn't seem to stop us, so what's the point in criticising others who break the rules of their own religions?   

       Suspect if ISIS gets their hands on some serious WMD they'll find can't use them in the same way that the US, UK, France, China and USSR couldn't. Really handy all those nuclear missiles in the Falklands War...
not_morrison_rm, Sep 06 2014
  

       Update "Witnesses also said that.....fighters had "abducted, tortured, and killed their neighbours".   

       Damn those crazy orthodox christians in the Ukraine.
not_morrison_rm, Sep 07 2014
  

       This irks me to no end.   

       Most muslims by far condemn terrorism and many leaders speak out against it but the media won't cover that. Imams all over the world preach non violence in mosques (sp?).   

       Your average muslim is much like any other person.   

       Those that are a bit more serious about it don't drink, fight, swear or make undue profits.   

       Allmost all terrorists commit crimes out of dissatisfaction and frustration some actually due to inflamatory foreign policy of the west.   

       Oh and [marked-for-deletion] baked and widely known to exist, advocacy, let's all, philosophy, stereotyping, rant.
zeno, Sep 07 2014
  

       What zeno said plus...

//99% of non-extremist, non-misogynistic//

If you are going to quote figures like that then you need to back it up with some solid sources. I mean, based on personal experience I'd be very surprised if 99% of the general population, not just muslims, could be described as 'non-misogynistic'.
DrBob, Sep 07 2014
  

       //I'd be very surprised if 99% of the general population, not just muslims, could be described as 'non-misogynistic'.   

       Well, it's more the 51 to 100% you have to worry about, presumably the women can be counted on the side of 'non-misogynistic'. So basically, it's a guy problem.
not_morrison_rm, Sep 07 2014
  

       I doubt that.   

       [marked-for-deletion] What zeno wrote.
jutta, Sep 07 2014
  

       //Your average muslim is much like any other person.   

       I totally agree. The ones I know are good people, much like everyone else.   

       However, the good and the bad are in a bit of a pissing match over who represents the real Islam. Problem is that the bad is winning (yes, due to media overexposure and all that). This idea is for the good to say, "enough with you assholes, we are now known as __________." Why does the good have to say that? Because the bad never will.
the porpoise, Sep 08 2014
  

       I don't think that's a good idea. ________ means "rodent" in Tianganese.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 08 2014
  

       // Tianganese //   

       It's always fun to Google [MB]'s vocabulary. There were 4 pages of hits, but all the ones I clicked on were OCR errors reading the word Manganese.
scad mientist, Sep 08 2014
  

       Yes, but Google's searches are mainly in English (and, in any case, mostly in Western fonts). "Tianganese" isn't written as "Tianganese" in Tianganese.   

       And I bet everyone in Manganesia is really pissed off.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 08 2014
  

       //This idea is for the good to say, "enough with you assholes, we are now known as __________." Why does the good have to say that? Because the bad never will.//   

       Yes porpoise, I got that and that is why it gets a marked for deletion on the grounds that I stated.   

       It is best to take it down I think after those grounds are confirmed by others and really true.
zeno, Sep 10 2014
  

       I agree that, as originally cast, the idea was not up to HB standards. I have updated it now, so maybe everyone can put away their tags.   

       Selective nagging about the rules makes this place seem cliquey. Maybe I should have derided bagpipes or mentioned gun control. Anyhoo, the idea has been updated to hopefully comply with the rules. If it still doesn't fit, then I will delete it, but for dog's sake there are decade old ideas that are far less grounded.
the porpoise, Sep 10 2014
  

       This is not really an original idea. It's sort of just the way things work that when a 'reformation' takes place there is usually some name change or change in dogma or other lies. But as the IS members really aren't an Islamic institution no reforms have to be made. The 'restructuring' if you want to look at the factions like that, was the dissolution of the pro-democracy movement that seemed to spontaneously start with the Arab Spring, resulted in the overthrow of several dictators in the Mid-east and Africa, but I suppose partly because of the loss of global momentum of that protest movement, Islamic caliphate supporters changed the mandate. When I read IS was against Hamas, and planned to destroy Hamas on the warpath against Israel it just seemed like an effort to disassociate their politics and build leftist sympathies for them, as the bulk of Hamas' campaign is global sympathies building. So while I think the IS militants are Islamic, and their radicalism is undeniably rooted in Islam, they are acting outside of the larger organized religion which has been wisely shepherding its extensive flock into moderate observation. Although that must be incredibly difficult given that even western conservative types are almost driven to holy war against contemporary feminism, gender equality, gay marriage, popular culture, and Internet porn etc. Sometimes I think when radical Islam is finally vanquished the home front will return to a quiet conservatism where sexual liberation will be celebrated privately, the useful provocation of women and gays having reached its maximum utility. Until then, the imams will have to preach peace and tolerance, but an Islam 2.0 is not required.
rcarty, Sep 10 2014
  

       (This is not really an original idea)   

       (marked-for-tagline)   

       Please, append this randomly to 20% of the recent ideas.
normzone, Sep 10 2014
  

       I now see two ideas.   

       //The 99% of non-extremist, non-misogynistic Muslims should host a reformation to actually distance themselves from the crazies. Seriously, this is getting stupid.// This is let's all.   

       //Update: Names and labels are powerful in religion. You'll never convince the extremists to call themselves anything other than Muslim/Islamic. So, it's up to the moderates to change the game: admit that the extremists have ruined the party and distance themselves by adopting a new name and a 6th pillar or what have you.//   

       This is naming.   

       And overall still these further grounds I see to say marked for deletion: philosophy, stereotyping and widely known to exist.   

       It's no skin of my back if you leave it up but these are defenitely grounds for deletion.   

       Alternatively if you leave the idea as is with the annotations, in my mind, it would serve as a reminder that, much like muslims, also halfbakers are just the same as any other people, in that even here there is smallmindedness which in some ways is akin to racism.
zeno, Sep 11 2014
  

       To further demonstrate my point of view in a more lighthearted manner, please see my link.
zeno, Sep 11 2014
  

       I can't see any religion schisming over something as trivial as "how we treat outsiders".
FlyingToaster, Sep 11 2014
  

       Maybe, [FlyingToaster], that's because the members of a religion who are nice enough to care about outsiders are ipso facto too nice to want an irrevocable bust-up with those around them. Erasmus springs to mind. Also, maybe this problem this is not limited to religion.
pertinax, Sep 11 2014
  

       ;) I have a vague feeling that might have been ironic [pert], if yours was too I missed it :)
Skewed, Sep 11 2014
  

       [+] for the general sentiment of the idea.
Alterother, Sep 11 2014
  
      
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