Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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J Book Air

A gonflable mat to uplift your laptop.
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This new J-Book Air is *amazing* (1). When clipped discreetly to the underside of your laptop it makes it so light to carry, it may as well be made of air!

The J-book Air can come in a number of different shapes and sizes, but the pilot edition is a semi-rigid dirigible of an ultra-light Mylar construction and dimensions that match the host machine's breadth and length. The depth of the balloon varies with model type. The gas inside may vary, but Hydrogen is the normal buoyancy medium - selected because of it's well known inert nature(2) and lower-than-air density (3). In these days of superfly laptops and the search for true portability, the mitigation of weight provided by the J-Book is the *ultimate* in technology advance (1).

By example, let's consider the laptop currently favoured by Apple fanboys:
Width: 32cm
Length: 22cm
Weight: 1.36 kg

Now,

90g/cubic metre - density of Hydrogen
1290g/cubic metre - density of Air

Differential in density = 1200 grams per cubic metre.

Let us assume that we wish to mitigate 1kg of weight for our "fanboy laptop" above. This means we need a dirigible of volume 1000/1200 cubic meters.

Our volume of 0.833 cubic metres can be represented by a balloon of dimension 32cm * 22cm * 11 cm (5). Such a balloon can be easily attached to the underside of said laptop, greatly reducing the apparent weight - with no real apparent increase in of size (4).

(1) Watch out for low-flying hyperbole.
(2) I have never been one to let the 'facts' get in the way of a good idea.
(3) Unless the facts help...
(4) If viewed from directly above the laptop so the J-book is underneath.
(5) This is laughably wrong in dimension. However, see point (2) and point (4) holds true.

Jinbish, Feb 08 2008

Dimensions of a Double-Decker bus http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A8688766
The International unit of measurement for 'rough size'. Classically used to compare the size of humans and dinosaurs - and now daft laptop/balloon ideas. [Jinbish, Feb 08 2008]

[link]






       Yay, gonflable!   

       (You were just waiting for that weren't you)
skinflaps, Feb 08 2008
  

       Yep.   

       I'm just going to double check - the whole 11cm depth might just be an order of magnitude out...   

       Which will only add to the indispensibility of this product!
Jinbish, Feb 08 2008
  

       The reality is that you'd end up with a huuuge floating laptop with a tendancy to explode.   

       All of which earns you a huuuuge bun.
wagster, Feb 08 2008
  

       Correction for improved factness and hilarity.   

       I now think that the 'height' of the balloon might be closer to 11m. That's metres. That's about the height of 2 and half double decker buses.
Jinbish, Feb 08 2008
  

       I heard an amazing statistic the other day that one of those old Routmasters is roughly the height of 1 double decker bus.
mecotterill, Feb 08 2008
  

       Your desktop weight widget will point to -1.
DenholmRicshaw, Feb 08 2008
  

       I'll have to test to see how long it takes my laptop to melt through a single layer of mylar. I'll have to find my stop watch.
MisterQED, Feb 08 2008
  

       //Our volume of 0.833 cubic metres can be represented by a balloon of dimension 32cm * 22cm * 11 cm (5).//   

       Jinbish, go to the back of the class this instant. 32cm x 22cm x11cm is not remotely 0.833 cubic metres. It is actually 0.00774 cubic metres.   

       What alarms me here is that (a) your answer was not only out by two orders of magnitude, but also out by an odd factor. This was a very creative error. And (b) what lack of intuition, what lack of basic experience of and insight into the real world, allowed you accept thet possibility that a balloon comparable in size to a regular party balloon could lift 1kg of weight?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 08 2008
  

       If i remember correctly that volume of helium+baloon can lift a "fun" size candy and look kinda listless.
WcW, Feb 09 2008
  

       Ok. Ok. Let's pause a minute and take stock. You've got me 'Bang to rights' as they say.   

       Firstly, yes [MB], 2*2*1 is 4 so straight away we know that the answer ain't ending in .3 recurring. That's why I said 'represented'. I didn't make that clear, and to be honest that was because I knew I would need to steal as much as I could get. You can tell that I'm not fibbing because I'd have used the actual weight of the laptop in question if I was trying to be correct...   

       Secondly, the basic sanity check that failed to kick in happened when converting each of the above 'facts' into a consistent unit (cubic metre). I had a quick twitch when I clicked 'post' and then thought "Bugger it, I'll keep the idea as it is. I'll look like an absolute idiot, but it might be more entertaining as corrections come in".   

       Thirdly, why would the Mylar melt? No-one said anything about the laptop being on!
<grasping tightly to straw>
  

       I'll be wheeling out a "dog-ate-my-homework" excuse any minute now.
Jinbish, Feb 09 2008
  
      
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