Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Jeez-it

flavored eucharist
  (+20, -3)(+20, -3)
(+20, -3)
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I am a a faithful catholic, and every communion time i wonder if the communion wafer could taste better. Why not market a flavored communion wafer? There could be such popular flavors as, nacho cheese, sour cream and chives, etc...
maidong, Dec 16 2001

Cheesus Industries http://www.poizenideas.com/cheesus/
mmm... sacrilicious... [jaksplat, May 04 2005]

[link]






       I'd vote for this for the name alone ... but I also have to agree with the sentiment behind it. Those communion wafers always tasted like crap, or at best, like cardboard. I can still taste the things now: yeecchh.   

       <non sequitur alert> We were always told that the communion wafer is called the "host". Is it just me, or is there something deeply creepy about that? </non sequitur alert>   

       Anyway ... make mine chili & lime!
1percent, Dec 16 2001
  

       I think someone's been watching too much late-night stand-up comedy. That said, good idea. Of course, being of a Protestant sub-schism, I suppose I'll have to wait until the flavors come out in Half-Bakery Bread format.
nick_n_uit, Dec 16 2001
  

       One wafer in fifty could be habanero flavored, the lucky worshiper could begin talking in tongues, or maybe they win the collection plates' haul for that service.
daruma, Dec 18 2001
  

       I've only ever known the big chunk of bread that gets broken up as it gets passed around.   

       Which brings to mind an embarrassing moment when I was a kid. Ya see I squashed my piece of bread up into a tight little ball while the minister was praying, then to my horror he asked everyone to exchange their piece of bread with the person beside them.   

       I'll never forget the look on the face of the suited man beside me.
Helium, Dec 18 2001
  

       Depending on location and circumstances you may find anything from saltine crackers to sandwich bread used for Communion. Also, I've seen everything from Kool-Aid to white grape juice used instead of wine. But the unifying factor, as [1percent] already observed, is that the bread or other carb-based substance (can't be too sure about some of those wafers) tends to have all the flavor of cardboard. I suppose this occurs for hysterical raisins (historical reasons).   

       Communion is supposed to be a reenactment of a particular meal that Jesus shared with his disciples shortly before his death. That meal was itself a reenactment of sorts, as part of the Jewish celebration of Passover.   

       Unleavened (and probably very bland) bread was used to commemorate the Jews' flight from Egypt, during which they had no time to wait for bread to rise and cook properly. The wine represented the lamb's blood on the door posts that caused the angel of death to pass over the house and not harm its occupants.   

       At the Last Supper, Jesus redefined the meaning of these symbols for his followers. For this reason modern Christians continue some of the traditions of the Passover meal, as they relate to the new symbolism that Jesus defined. Bland bread seems to be one of those traditions that stayed, and as such may be difficult for some people to part with it.
BigBrother, Dec 20 2001
  

       <obligatory Jim Jones ref.> No! Don't drink the Kool-Aid, BigBrother!</obligatory Jim Jones ref.>
snarfyguy, Dec 21 2001
  

       And of course those French would demand croissant-flavored...   

       If we loaded it with enough preservatives, maybe we wouldn't have a real 'afterlife,' but just a post-life, or maybe a half-life...
RayfordSteele, Jan 10 2002
  

       During Communion, our church pastor gives Pillsbury Goldfish crackers to pre-1st Communion kids, so they don't feel left out.
waugsqueke, Jan 10 2002
  

       Goldfish! Yes! I knew there was some symbology to that little cracker...
RayfordSteele, Feb 14 2002
  

       << RayfordSteele, >> What you'd have is a shelf life.
dandr, Apr 06 2002
  

       Today on CoffeeTalk: Preservatives and the afterlife. Are they a help or a hindrance to our hopes of heaven? Do souls stay in pergatory until the preservatives in their bodies expire? Discuss amongst yourselves... forgive me, I'm all ferklemt...
RayfordSteele, Apr 06 2002
  

       The sea had split. The enemy was drowned. And now the problems began.
The newly liberated nation was stranded in a scorching desert facing an unending landscape of uncertainties. Taskmasters no longer responded to their cries -- Hashem did. He responded with protection and shelter on every level. But the Jews were still not satisfied. They were hungry. "If only we had died.. in the land of Egypt. Why did you liberate us to die in the desert? " they cried to Moshe. (Exodus 16:3 )
Hashem responded with a most miraculous and equally mysterious celestial gift. Food fell from the heavens, but the people accepted it with piqued curiosity. Indeed, the dew-covered matter satiated their hunger, but they were not sure what exactly it was. "Each man said to his friend, manna ! For they did not know what it was." (Exodus 16:14) The commentaries explain that the word manna is a Hebrew-Egyptian form of the word "what."
At first, the Torah only discusses the physical attributes of the manna : "it was like a thin frost on the earth." The Torah continues to tell that on Shabbos the manna did not fall. A double portion fell on Friday -- the extra portion was allotted for Shabbos. In referring to the manna of Shabbos the Torah tells, "the children of Israel named it manna , and it tasted like a cake fried in honey." Later, however, the Torah describes the manna 's taste differently: "it tasted like dough kneaded with oil." (Numbers 11:8) Why does the Torah wait to describe the manna 's taste until Shabbos? Also, when did it taste sweet and when did it only taste like oily dough?
Another question is before Shabbos people asked, "what is it?" On Shabbos they named the miraculous food -- "It is 'what'" (manna ). Why did the Jews wait until Shabbos to describe concretely the miraculous edible with an official title manna -- the 'what' food?
The Talmud states that the taste of the manna was integrally linked with the taster's thoughts. If one thought of steak the manna tasted like steak: if one thought of borscht, the manna tasted like borscht. In fact, the Chofetz Chaim was once asked, "what happens if you think nothing?" He answered very profoundly: "If one thinks of nothing, then one tastes nothing!"
During the week the Jews had the manna but did not realize its great potential. The Malbim explains that is why it only tasted like oily dough. But on Shabbos, a day filled with sweet relaxation, heavenly thoughts filled the minds of the nation. And those sweet thoughts produced sweet tastes.
The Talmud also says that to small children the manna tasted like dough, but to scholars it tasted like honey. For if one thinks of honey, he tastes honey. When one thinks blandly, he has bland taste.
Perhaps on Shabbos the Jewish People realized the important lesson of life. The questions faced should not be addressed as eternally mysterious. One cannot face the unknown with the question, "what is it?" Rather, define destiny and challenge uncertainties. "It is what!" What you put into it is exactly what you take out. Life presents many opportunities. Approach those moments with lofty thoughts and see, smell, and taste its sweetness. Or see nothing and taste nothing.
Such are the origins of unleavened bread, and its symbolic usage.
thumbwax, Apr 06 2002
  

       I thought the origin of the symbolic use of uleavened bread came from the haste with which the Israelites fled their homes in Egypt, not having had time to wait for the bread to rise.
beauxeault, Apr 06 2002
  

       A Cruton O' Christ.. a Jeez-it.. Eat em like Christ Chex..   

       Yes, I'd say someones a Dane Cook fan.
xsierrax, May 06 2003
  

       Can someone provide a Cliffs-notes version of wax's post for me? I just don't want to spend the time reading the thing.
Worldgineer, May 06 2003
  

       You got my vote. Acutally, there is a candy from Japan which is the same shape and size but is a melt in your mouth form of compressed peaches. My friends want their churches to switch to that brand. Personally, my favorite candy even though it's no relation to its similar looking counterpart.
sartep, May 06 2003
  

       or how about a breath-freshening experience like those new "pocket pack" wafers ?
morpheus, May 06 2003
  

       It's Jesus! Soilent communion wafers are made of Jesus!
TheJeff, Jun 03 2004
  

       For ultimate realism, you could use pork scratchings. I am told pork is fairly close physiologically to human flesh.
FloridaManatee, Jun 03 2004
  

       // I am a faithful catholic //   

       I thought that catholics believed in a process called "Transmogrification" whereby the bread or cookie thing doesn't just symbolise the body of christ, in your mouth it *becomes* the body of christ. This was one of the major differences between catholic and protestant theology I think.   

       That being the case, surely a faithful catholic would find it sacrilegious to flavour christ's body?   

       Perhaps it might be more sensitive to offer some ketchup or mustard to disguise the bland flavour?
dobtabulous, Jun 03 2004
  

       But it would be flavoured before it was transmogrified. Therefore it could be pizza that they were giving out and it would still become Christ's body.
hidden truths, May 03 2005
  

       "If we loaded it with enough preservatives, maybe we wouldn't have a real 'afterlife,' but just a post-life, or maybe a half-life..."   

       ...or perhaps Garlic & Snail flavour, for a sort of "apres-vie"?
the_jxc, May 04 2005
  

       I could've sworn I posted my Jesus Con Queso idea here a couple years back... sadly, it seems to be gone and I must offer you my bun. Take this croissant and eat it, for it is my bun.
justaguy, May 06 2005
  

       <old joke alert> "Ah'm workin' fer Jesus"
"De Lawd Jesus?"
"No, de Kraft Jesus" </oja>
Never did get the transmogrification thing - smacks of sanctioned cannibalism - creepy.
sp. "Soylent"
coprocephalous, May 06 2005
  

       how about that wine? i think i've had those crackers before (i'm agnostic though) and they do taste interesting. the day i got one i was hungry and wanted more. but to be honest, i thought they were more sweet than bland.   

       jesus' blood should have been white, not red, cuz white wine would have gone really well with that little cracker.   

       it just makes sense! in fact, i'll start a new idea.....
Kociol, Jun 20 2006
  

       It sounds to me like you don't know the meaning of the "communion wafer", it's supposed to be plain in order to remember christ, not cheese.
BJS, Jun 20 2006
  
      
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