Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Like gliding backwards through porridge.

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Kitchen Knuckle Duster

Defend your digits.
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A chef I know told me that professional cooks chop against the nails of their other hand to limit the amount of finger tips in the evening repast.

My finger nails are too short for this (nibbler)and so I cannot use this method.

So, for people who chew and people who dont want to scratch their nail varnish...The Kitchen Knuckle Duster.

It looks similar to a regular knuckle duster but is worn lower down across the last joints and has a shield which extend over the ends of the fingers. It also has various attachments which slide into the top side to instantly convert it into a meat tenderiser/pastry latticer etc.

In this way you save offending your vegetarian guests and can still feel what you are doing. Plus you look really mean too.

squeak, Mar 17 2003

Knuckle Duster? http://www.olohe.com/weapons/kuekue.html
I didn't know what a knuckle duster is. Is this what you mean? [roby, Oct 04 2004]

(?) Scissorhands http://fan.pressurised.net/edward/
Sharp: si! [roby, Oct 04 2004]

Baked, on a finger by finger basis http://www.cutstop.com/info.htm
You could stick them together with sticky tape... [DrCurry, Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       ouch!
I don't think this is what you mean, but I'm picturing Edward Scissorhands in the kitchen.
roby, Mar 17 2003
  

       I think it's more the case that chefs use the first joint of the fingers as a guide against the side of the knife, negating the need for decent nails. Is your chef aquaintance really saying that the blade itself comes into contact with his or her nails whilst chopping? It's still very easy to cut yourself though, so I think this is a good idea, though perhaps baked in some form or other. Have a finely sliced croissant.
sild, Mar 17 2003
  

       I've seen butchers wear a chainmail glove on their non knife wielding hand.
RoboBust, Mar 17 2003
  

       Dangerous combo, that. But not effective against a gun.
beauxeault, Mar 17 2003
  

       roby: also called brass knuckles.
squeak: along those lines, perhaps you should call these brass fingertips? But see link.
DrCurry, Mar 17 2003
  

       [beauxeault]: As hinted at by Sean Connery in 'The Untouchables' - "*That's* the Chicago way!"
Jinbish, Mar 17 2003
  

       Yes, chefs hold their nails almost parallel to the blade so if you do misjudge it just skids off. You still end up wearing blue plasters for most of your working life though.
weedy, Jun 22 2005
  

       Then suddenly there they were, dressed in aprons, kitchen hats and with greasy moustaches, the gang I had heard so much about, yet never dare speak their name - the Kitchenhands.   

       'Tell us 'ow to prepare the blancmange, and we may not 'ave to use zis,' the tall one said in a frightening french ramble, showing me the kitchen knuckle dusters he sported on both of his fat dirty hands.   

       'M-m-mix four level tablespoons of c- cornflour into a smooth paste then. .' but before I could continue there was a rumble of rubbish bins behind me and the Kitchenhands fled down the alleyway. As I turned, I realised I had been saved by the chance arrival of the only gang feared amongst all chefs - The Pastry Boys.
benfrost, Jun 23 2005
  

       //chefs hold their nails almost parallel to the blade so if you do misjudge it just skids off//   

       They do if they want to lose a fingertip. A sharp chef's knife does not just "skid off" a fingernail. It cuts through it to the bone. If you use a Chinese cleaver, it cuts through the bone as well.   

       The recommended method has your nails at about a 30-45 degree angle to the board, crooked back with the hand like a claw. The first joint knuckles guide the knife (if you are cutting thicker materials, you roll your next set of knuckles into the side of the blade; they are higher).   

       You have to be able to feel the knife to know where it is; you do this with your knuckles. Anything down there in the way is likely going to cause an accident rather than prevent one. You would also be washing the thing all of the time to prevent cross contamination.   

       And other cooks and chefs would point an laugh at you and tell you that your ass hurts.
nomocrow, May 26 2009
  
      
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