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Lie Facilitator Manager

 
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Software for your smart phone or computer.

Select one of five categories.(please contribute others if you think they are required) the software kicks out something for you to say. 1. Excuses 2. Stories 3. Facts & Figures 4. Quotes 5. Wit

need an excuse for being late, click "excuse" the options are Instant, Credible, Incredible or Special

I was late because {my sister was hit in the head by a giant beetle and got a concussion}......

Special selector lets you input nouns or verbs that relate to your particular situation.

Need quick witty questions to ask so that people pay more attention to you and think you are really deep. Select Wit button and Instant {if you could ride a kangaroo would you ride in the pouch or on it's back?}

Not a surfer but need a surfing story that sounds Incredible so that no one questions that you have been there and done that. Select Story and then Incredible - wham {dude i was like in a pipline once and like a fish totally jumped into my pocket and started to chomp on my nads dude}

The device should also help keep track of the lies that you tell, to whom and how many times.

If you get caught in a lie does that mean that the lie was a poor quality lie? Would the same lie work 9 times out of ten should it be recycled?

I have a feeling that tracking of lies frequency and their effectiveness over time could be a whole new industry.

vfrackis, Feb 11 2010

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       You've never been married, have you, [vfrackis] ?
8th of 7, Feb 11 2010
  

       Lying doesn't work like that. It's not what you say, but how you say it, and how to add little brushstrokes of realism to misdirect people from the lie. If you want to do it really well, you have to believe what you are saying, and be able to switch that belief on in an instant, like a politician.   

       When I was at sixth-form we had a competition to find the school's "Most Plausible Liar". A series of falsehoods were written on slips of paper; each entrant had to pick one at random and then tell it, and also tell two truths, and we all got to vote on which was the lie. There were three rounds.   

       I had a 100% success rate in sneaking lies past, mainly because everything I said (including the two "truths") was a lie.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 11 2010
  

       I don't believe you.
pertinax, Apr 11 2010
  

       I don't believe in truth. Never have. Never will.
VJW, Dec 13 2010
  

       I don't believe in Truth; truth on the other hand...
toodles, Dec 15 2010
  
      
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