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Mercenary Hagglers

Get you the best deal for a percentage
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A recording of a Verizon employee haggling with a customer who was trying to switch to another service just went viral recently and reminded me of about 99 percent of my waking life. I suck at this kind of thing, haggling, naturally, I think, or at least have no fun at it, but maybe that's because I am constantly losing the transactions, getting in fights with the customer service people, etc. What do I excell at? Sleeping, I guess. And apparently not having children. And maybe being a librarian, at least enough to avoid getting fired, yet.

So with the money that I have made avoiding getting fired and not having kids and through compound interest as I have slept, I propose, I would like to hire a mercenary haggler to finagle me the best and cheapest verizon account, to deal with the bus driver or cab driver, to weasle on my taxes, to do all that stuff, while I sleep more. In other words I am ready to get married, to an auctioneer/used car salesperson/tax attorney.

Or what if I contract out for this service on a per-job, trust-based, distributed, socially networked basis?

JesusHChrist, Jul 31 2014

Sorry it was Comcast http://nypost.com/2...-service-call-ever/
[JesusHChrist, Jul 31 2014]

A Father's Adwise... http://charlesdicke...e.com/pickwick.html
Left hand column, next to bottom. [8th of 7, Jul 31 2014]

quite similar to... Freelance_20Bureaucrat
in my humble, slightly self-interested, opinion. [FlyingToaster, Jul 31 2014]

Billfixers http://upstart.bizj...tiate.html?page=all
Freshly baked [AusCan531, Aug 01 2014]

The traditional version of this for travellers in foreign parts: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragoman
It used to be said that the dragoman's job was to ensure that no-one cheated you except him. [pertinax, Aug 01 2014]

Escrow app
Shameless self promotion [xaviergisz, Aug 03 2014]

[link]






       // I am ready to get married, to an auctioneer/used car salesperson/tax attorney. //   

       Take Mr Weller Senior's advice ...   

       <link>
8th of 7, Jul 31 2014
  

       I believe there is a service out there that, for a fee, will attempt to cancel your cable, internet, or phone service. This would be a useful extension of that idea. [+]
gisho, Jul 31 2014
  

       What, instead of just "horrible" ?
8th of 7, Jul 31 2014
  

       What you need is Haggling school.
bungston, Jul 31 2014
  

       Yes, but who's going to haggle the cost of the haggling service for you...
not_morrison_rm, Jul 31 2014
  

       "Hello?, I'm really terrible at negotiating and haggling so I'd like to hire your services please."   

       "Certainly Mr JesusHChrist, you've rang the right company, but first let's discuss our fee."   

       "Aw Crap!"
AusCan531, Aug 01 2014
  

       You'll have to talk to my MH about this.
pashute, Aug 01 2014
  

       Baked last week. [Link]   

       Billfixers sounds almost exactly as described in your post.
AusCan531, Aug 01 2014
  

       Known to have existed widely (see link).
pertinax, Aug 01 2014
  

       >>Billfixers   

       I predict those guys are going to make a killing.
JesusHChrist, Aug 02 2014
  
      
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