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Freelance Bureaucrat

cheaper than a lawyer (but more irritating)
  (+11, -1)(+11, -1)
(+11, -1)
  [vote for,

The Freelance Bureaucrat is an experienced, often ex-government, facilitator who knows how to get things done in the world of red tape and manure piles.

Get that pothole fixed, talk to somebody in tech-support who speaks your language, discretely return the blow-up sheep that came without a ... well, nevermind; just somebody who can deal with the mind-numbing nonsense.

Rates are surprisingly inexpensive as the Freelance 'Crat can multitask on-hold calls for many clients at the same time.

The 'Crat has an extensive file system of the best ways to "hack" (in the original sense of working outside the box) different companies' Gordian knots, compiled after long years of experience; knows just when to say "can I speak to your supervisor/manager", when to offhandedly mention litigation and when to let the process flow uninterrupted.

FlyingToaster, Dec 02 2009

The Citizen's Advice Bureau http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
The pre-existng service in the UK. [Aristotle, Dec 02 2009]

Carne Ross, independent diplomat http://www.independentdiplomat.org/
[hippo, Dec 02 2009]


       In our day and age of shamed politicians (read: horny), this could be a valuable job offering [+]
goodmars, Dec 02 2009

       Ahh, this may actually be baked in the UK [see link], although the people behind it are volunteers from all walks of life, not just former bureaucrats.   

       Politicians, especially those that have reach the equivalent of "cabinet" level, are often hired for this kind of service by companies.   

       Nice imagery through.
Aristotle, Dec 02 2009

       I was specifically not mentioning lobbyists: this is a bit more grass-roots. Nice link but that seems to be an alcohol-less bartender scheme. § x1
FlyingToaster, Dec 02 2009

       Carne Ross (see link) does this - he used to be a British diplomat and now he acts as a freelance diplomat for countries too small, too poor, or too chaotic to have their own diplomatic services - I think he acted as a diplomatic representative at the UN for various Balkan states as they were in the process of being turned from bits of other countries into independent countries.
hippo, Dec 02 2009

       I could do this job. Although the switch in mental approach from spending years trying to prevent things from being done to spending the rest of my career actually trying to get them done <shudder> could take some getting used to. But I'm willing to give it a go for a large sackful of cash. Where do I sign up? Oh, it's freelance isn't it! Silly me. Hang on, who is in charge then?
DrBob, Dec 02 2009

       //who is in charge then ?//
beats me, I'm just the half-baker.
FlyingToaster, Dec 02 2009

       Seventeen very soft and luscious buns for you. I love it.
blissmiss, Dec 02 2009

       Sounds like a lobbyist intern or paralegal to me. Quite baked here in the colonies.
RayfordSteele, Dec 02 2009

       // talk to somebody in tech-support who speaks your language //   

       We have no problem conversing with the geeks in tech support. In fact we often call them up just to chat. Sometimes they call us if they have a really tricky problem ....   

       Would this service free us from the misery of having to communicate with people who for some odd reason weren't born with an understanding of computers and technology ? If so, have a dough-based nutritive unit.
8th of 7, Dec 02 2009

       I would like to bun this, but I need to check with the interim committee first. Can you shoot me an email to get started?   

       Actually, would you mind blocking out a day in your diary to go over the fundamentals? Then we can get you into the pre-bun paperwork phase -- you know: get the ticks in the right boxes. Then you'll be piloting your wireframe/proxy bun in no time!   

       ...now, that'll be $122.50, please.
not_only_but_also, Dec 03 2009


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