Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
I think this would be a great thing to not do.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Mirror for Vampires

Because to shave, one needs a reflection.
  [vote for,

One of the great problems facing vampires is shaving. Not being able to use a mirror, in the good old days they would simply ask Igor to lend a hand. In these modern times, though, who can afford an Igor; and now you'll freqently see vampires with small pieces of tissue stuck on their chins, or nasty looking cuts on their top lips. Not what you would expect from a group that prides itself on always presenting an impeccable appearance.

Now MadCo has the way forward. A flat TV screen, complete with gothic black frame, and discrete TV camera. Everyone knows that vampires can be seen on TV! So far, so conventional. Vampire castles are frequently short on 3-pin sockets however, so the mirror has a a tailor-made power solution - an industrial grade surge protector, a few really good capacitors, and a wire with crocodile clips to connect to the nearest lightning conductor.

MadnessInMyMethod, Jan 15 2009

advirt. for synthetic blood http://www.trubeverage.com/
HBO( home blood office )... what I found online, after [daseva]'s post [Sir_Misspeller, Jan 16 2009]


       I'm all for it. It's not a pretty sight if one of them cuts themselves shaving. Just messy. [+]   

       The wife goes berserk.
theleopard, Jan 15 2009

       Do you *really* see vampires on TV, or merely depictions of vampires?
Besides, you'd have to reverse the scan of either the camera or the TV for this to work as a mirror.
[ ] <- Vampire buns cannot be seen by the un-undead.
coprocephalous, Jan 15 2009

       I always assumed vampires' beards didn't grow. How wrong I was.
PauloSargaco, Jan 15 2009

       Aagh! who put this bottle of garlic aftershave here?
hippo, Jan 15 2009

       It's not Vampires who employ Igors - you're confusing them with Rotwangs and Frankensteins. An easy mistake to make considering the lightening scorched gothic mountain-top cathedræ within which Vampires, Frankensteins, Rotwangs and all manner of assorted East European fiendery will tend to congregate.   

       But I will grant you that good Igors are few and far between these days - on the open market, three flinching hunchbacks might set you back a whole year's supply of goo - but I know this guy in Transvampyria who does them on the cheap, excellent quality - only partially leprous, and pre-trained to whimper, fawn and hobble in the most contemptible manner - he spawns, disfigures and trains them all himself - he's very dedicated.
zen_tom, Jan 15 2009

       hippo - quick wash it off with this holy water!
MadnessInMyMethod, Jan 15 2009

       This idea is based on some bad premises - First, you can't see vampires in video cameras, either, and second, their hair always stays the same length as when they were turned.   

       If vampires shave, it grows back out in like, ten seconds. And if you cut yourself, everyone in the coven wants to lick your face.
nomocrow, Jan 15 2009

       Hey, I bet vampires would really get a kick out of a synthetic clear blood. It would make a sexy night out with their immortal other far less messy. Maybe KY could carry it.
daseva, Jan 15 2009

       Hmmm, do gay vampires have straight raisers?   

       Modern vampires generally use a nair-like product, or get laser hair removal.   

       However, even those on the cheap needn't invest in camera equippment. All they have to do is enchant someone. Everyone knows that vampires can groom themselves using the reflection from the eyes of their latest thrall.
ye_river_xiv, Jan 17 2009


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle