Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Moron Biscuits

Zhey make yoo thound thoopid...
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Sarah grabbed her folder from her desk, picked a stray hair off her jacket and headed off to her meeting. They would be deciding who was going to handle the new Megacorp account and she thought she knew just the girl for the job, a girl that liked huge commissions and a high profile. She got to the meeting room five minutes early which was a comfortable ten minutes before anyone else would - in these days of downsizing no one wanted to appear to have time on their hands. After pouring a coffee and laying out her notes at the seat next to where her the section manager would be sitting, she took the precaution of tipping the biscuits into the bin and replacing them with a selection of Moron Biscuits from her bag.

_____

Nick was late for his meeting with Peter, his boss. He had been hoping to avoid it as he knew Pete needed someone to redesign the Gadgetron site from the ground up and it was going to be a long and arduous task. Worse still, he was the best qualified for the job as he already knew their current site inside out. Luckily, he had a plan. He took off his tie, crumpled his shirt up a little, untucking it on one side and grabbed a handful of Moron Biscuits from his top drawer, munching one as he hurried down the corridor.

_____

After the section manager had recapped Megacorp’s main interests and requirements, the brainstorming was in full flow as the team jousted idea against idea, jostling for the upper hand and hopefully a shot at the being the new account manager. Phil finished off the end of his biscuit and leaned forward on the desk.

“Given Megacorp’s recent history of downsizing and outsourcing, I feel we should leverage our strong position in design to try and gwab some of the marketing fall-off when neksht quarter’s figuresh are weleased… exschush me, my tongue ish feeling a liddle shtrange.”

Sarah allowed herself a small smile: the anaesthetic was kicking in.

_____

Nick was sitting opposite Pete, tongue lolling over his numb lower lip, dribble running down his chin.

“Ok Feet, I’d wuvve to do zhat for ya. Zhat would be weal ekshighting chawwenge. If yoo could thet up a meeding wif zhose Gadzetwon guyth I’ll dwaw uff a pwoject pwan nectht week. I’m tho exthited!”

“Hmmm, well I haven’t decided who’s going to be doing it yet, but thanks for giving it your input.”

_____

As everyone filed out of the room, the section manager placed his hand on Sarah’s arm.

“Well, my dear, I must say I’m impressed. It seems like you really have a handle on this client, and to be frank, the rest of the team weren’t really making much sense for most of the meeting.”

“Maybe they’re just a little overworked” answered Sarah. “I’m sure they’ll be fine once they have their workloads under control. In the meantime, I could pick up the slack…”

wagster, Oct 30 2006

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       Why can't Sarah get the job without drugging her office mates?
Chefboyrbored, Oct 30 2006
  

       Because she's an alcoholic.
Texticle, Oct 30 2006
  

       She probably could, but she's just a scheming bitch by nature.
wagster, Oct 31 2006
  

       I think wagster has been trying his own product!
MoreCowbell, Oct 31 2006
  

       That's funny, I thought I just had a speech impediment. Apparently I was a moron all along.
GutPunchLullabies, Oct 31 2006
  

       Brilliant. Wagster was before his time.
monk, Oct 11 2007
  

       //She probably could, but she's just a scheming bitch by nature//   

       Yeah, I've had problems with Sarah too - lets wait until she goes into the ladies room and beat her up.
Brett-Blob, Oct 11 2007
  
      
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