Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Moustache Curtains

No, thank you, I'm full...
  (+6)
(+6)
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I'm sure someone has had this idea before, but I cannae find it for love nor money *Warning - this is a wild assumption - I have neither attempted to purchase nor showered love on this idea. If you wish to test the assumption, please feel free.*

Grow a moustache into the shape of a curtain to cover mouth (using concealed draw strings to close) for a whole host of slightly suspicious reasons. Dye moustache to preferred colour/pattern and add hem for support :)

1) Thwart the efforts of dastardly lipreading spies, intent on discovering your plans.

2) Indicate to a dinner host that you are full, and will pass on the dessert course (facial version of placing your hand over the top of a glass).

3) Synchronise moustache to music using draw string. Entertain children and adults alike.

4) Employ wild tugging of extended draw string to simulate a facial attack by a very small, and yet very hairy, creature.

5) Indicate irritation with a loved one by compulsively opening and closing curtains, in the same way a particular percentage of the population storm around the house after an argument violently rearranging furniture in the noisiest possible way (the CD album 'Angry noises for your angry moustache' will be available in stores by the summer).

6) Use moustache as a visual indicator that you have 'put your foot down' on an issue. Symbolic in that once the moustache is fully drawn, the mouth is concealed.

7) Use moustache as new 'prop' in the performing arts. Whereas in the past, baddies may have twirled their pointy waxed moustache while grinning, and goodies may have chewed on theirs in a down-to-earth, honest good guy manner, the thespians of the future will use their curtains in several 'maneuvres'.

- Slow and symbolically final drawing of curtain with eyes downcast to indicate sorrow, perhaps to mourn the death of a friend/colleague.

- Sudden opening of curtain with open mouth to indicate shock/surprise/anger.

- Sly twitchy semi-opening of curtain to indicate subterfuge of some variety.

- In fear, pointing out towards the source of danger, and quivering like an arrow in target (suggested by [friendlyfire]).

- Majestically sweeping open as a facial bow. Thank you and goodnight.

sambwiches, Apr 03 2003

Baked? http://ogfhc.com/im...20and%20attilio.jpg
Complete with pull-tab, by the look of it. [DrCurry, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

curtained cad http://www.geocitie...rjohnnie/sadam.html
[FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

moustache summer http://www.mustachesummer.com/
weird 'tache site [sambwiches, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       Makes me want to go out and grow a moustache +.
oneoffdave, Apr 03 2003
  

       Sounds like a picture by Edward Gorey. Perhaps FarmerJohn will oblige.
DrCurry, Apr 03 2003
  

       I'd take away his job in an instant, [Dimandja]. I can't imagine he enjoys being peed on by millions of kids anyway :)
sambwiches, Apr 03 2003
  

       Great for introducing your tongue, too. "And now, ladies and gentlemen..."
waugsqueke, Apr 03 2003
  

       you have a lot of free time, don't you sambwiches.
igirl, Apr 03 2003
  

       Coming up with these creative gems is a job in itself, [igirl]. [friendlyfire], I'm putting your anno on the idea (fully cited, of course). Genius :)
sambwiches, Apr 03 2003
  

       Nice pic, [farmerjohn]. You can see the fear in his moustache.
sambwiches, Apr 03 2003
  

       (Must... accept... sambwiches' kudos graciously... and not point out... "you're"/"your" typo...) Aargh, too late! But thank you, sambwiches.
friendlyfire, Apr 18 2003
  

       HAHAHA--I love this one!   

       I think women should be given the opportunity to employ this concept to protect their womanhood from pushy alpha males, politicians with pushy wives, etc...
emlyn, May 30 2003
  
      
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