h a l f b a k e r yKeep out of reach of children.
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Small round plastic inserts - individually fitted - would fit snugly into your nostrils. Each disc would be open but screened - allowing the smooth flow of air but blocking admission to any bee or wasp wishing to explore the inside of your head. These are especially useful if snoozing on a hammock
or lawn chair in the hot season. Also will keep out flies and gnats. For hayfever sufferers, they come with a HEPA filter... I'm patenting them now...
this product would have sold really well yesterday in toronto
http://www.thestar....ws&col=968793972154
"swarms of tiny green insects invaded the eyes, noses and mouths of Toronto residents yesterday..." [mihali, Jul 31 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]
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Annotation:
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I could have used the orally fitted version of these the last time I was out skating! (Ick, that bug tasted awful!) |
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PeterSealy: Oho, then clearly you have never discovered the sensual pleasure of laying on your back and letting warm honey run into your nostrils... Actually I'm with Peter, I think this a solution in search of a problem. Nasal filters have been proposed already anyway. |
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I have had insects fly up my nose
while cycling, and have as a
result purchased one of those
filter face mask thingies (so, so
superior to this idea) and (as a
result of that) never worn it
because it looks dumb. |
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I have a beekeper friend who had one make a (pardon me) bee-line for his nostril and sting the inside. His already large nose swelled (swole?) up to twice its size. A vote for this one from me in his honor. |
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Although conceptually absurd, I have to vote for this idea because the scenario it requires happened to me this weekend. It was disconcerting, to say the least. My nostrils will never be the same. But in this case, just because I vote for it does not mean I would actually use it. |
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I understand that bees and wasps will head towards carbon dioxide... If the nose is where carbon dioxide is exhaled, then it makes sense to screen off the nostrils if you are in an area or situation where bees are a pest. |
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Crazy as it seems, I had 32 bees fly up my nose... or was that fly by my nose, or was it... fly somewhere and go... Anyway, how would you like it if bees lived inside your head? |
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I would love it! Imagine the money you would save on honey. And next time you got a cold, your sniffles would remain this oozing sugary condiment. |
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How though would one separate the actual 'nasal bees' from the rest of the bees who prefer more hive-like locations? (An 'ear' bee might very well be catastrophic for the appreciator of music , who simply wants a handy nest in the back of the throat for retrieval of mints and other snacks at parties - or during television/cinema/sporting sessions.) |
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To attract them, I suggest ingesting flower pollen snuff and standing close to a hive - but one would have to stop smoking. |
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why would you not want a bee up your nose? you can lure it in by mixing sugar into your mucus and hey presto! you've got yourself a loaded weapon, mister. i try to get at least one bee a day. queues? furgeddaboudit. |
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