h a l f b a k e r yNo, not that kind of baked.
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Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To upgrade their Nokia handsets.
Jack came down,
And typed around,
So he could send Jill a quick text. |
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If you go out in the 'net today,
Be sure to go in disguise,
If you go out in the 'net today,
Be sure to shut your eyes, |
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For every gash that ever there was,
Will gather there for certain because,
The 'net's the place the perverts post their pictures. |
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Every surfer who's been good,
is sure of a treat today,
There's lots of marvellous links to read,
And wonderful games to play. |
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There on the screen where nobody sees,
They'll bake ideas as long as they please,
'Cause that's the way halfbakers get their jollies. |
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If you go out in the 'net today,
You know that you're not alone,
It's lovely out in the 'net today,
From the privacy of your home. |
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For every 'baker that ever there was,
Will gather there for certain because,
Today's the day the 'bakers had their haufcon. |
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Voting time for halfbakers,
The little 'baker types are having a lovely time today,
Watch them, catch them unawares,
Correct their spelling errors along the way. |
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See them gaily gad about,
They post such silly ideas,
They never have any cares, |
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At 6am their husbands and wives,
Will call them into bed,
Because they're tired, little, baking bears. |
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Boys and girls come out to play,
the moon doth shine as bright as day,
Leave your cubicle and leave your sleep,
join your mates on Bakers Street,
Come with a whoop and come with a call,
Come with a fishbone or not at all,
Up the ladder and down the wall,
Flocking road cones will serve us all;
you find the custard and vagina jam,
and we'll have a croissant and loads of spam. |
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The owl and the fussy cat went to sea
on a beautiful pod green boat,
They took some money and 'slices of honey',
wrapped up in a fifty quid note,
The owl hooked up to the network above,
and text'd in a romantic way,
O lovely cat, oh cat my love, what a beautiful cat I say, I
say
What a beautiful cat I say. |
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<umpire's hat> fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
jutta: enjoyed those links, but I'd have difficulty reading them to a five year old.
UB: couldn't place the original.
po: For kids! (title changed). Sorry about that, but my intention was to have a load of rhymes ready for small kids - side by side with the originals.
arora: thanks, but same comment.
Ari: You've hit the nail on the head!
</hat> |
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I can't remember the name of the song that Una's parodying, but it sounds vaguely familiar, and I'm sure I could have named it when I was 6 years old (-: |
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See link for the poem "owl and the pussy cat" that [arora] altered. |
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teddy bears picnic <UB's unfinished rhyme> |
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Now finished, with a 1/2B twist. |
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I can't believe you have nothing better to do. Are you just practising on us? |
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Humpty Dumpty sat in a mall.
Humpty Dumpty had a speedball.
All the king's dollars and all the king's dimes,
Couldn't get Humpty to E.R. in time. |
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Humpty Dumpty rode a fast car,
Humpty Dumpty had a great smash.
All the world's surgeons
And super glue
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty
Together Again. |
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Doctor Foster culled half of Gloucester
With morphine administered like rain
He slipped up one summer
got caught - what a bummer
Now in jail, never to be seen again. |
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Teach:
Come little Johnny, come to me
Let me hear your Q W E |
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Johnny:
Q W E R T Y U
I O P A S D F
G H J K L Z X
C V B N M
Now you heard my Q W E
Tell me what you think of me |
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Teach:
Very good, Johnny, Very good. |
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