Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Snail Koans

Snails that can read and write
  (+11, -2)(+11, -2)
(+11, -2)
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How to create Snail Koans:

Begin by teaching your snails how to read.

This is accomplished using the reward and punishment system developed by the Russian psychologist Ivan Pavlov. Snails are trained using this method to negotiate a series of obstacles, which form a pathway, punctuated by loops and turns. Each of the many snails learns a different path with a tasty reward at the end of the lesson. Deviations on the journey are punished by tiny harmless electric shocks that the snails learn to avoid.

Once you are satisfied that your snails can follow their path without prompting, the second part begins.

The diet of the snails is now altered so that their slime trail produces a colour, with each snail producing a slightly different hue. Everything is now ready to create the Koans.

Random batches of snails are simultaneously released unto a white surface where they begin to follow their pre-learned path, leaving distinct coloured trails behind them.

This trail now reveals itself to be a series of words in script style, for each snail has in fact learned how to spell out its own individual word.

You may now use your snails to create Koans or generate random poetry, or simply to make images of script patterns.

Snails suffer no ill effects during the process of learning how to read and write.

Under development: Flies that do calculus, and operatic spiders.

xenzag, Sep 10 2006

(?) Thanks [Lt_Frank], here it is! http://user.tninet....va/Monkey/webpages/
Unfortunately it is down, I think that is due to lack of money if I understand correctly. I hope it will be running again soon. [zeno, Sep 12 2006]

[link]






       hello i am imaginality's slug. he hsa taught me to tpye. he likes this idea so do i. hve a bun. p.s. sorry he hasnot taught me to use caps yet.
imaginality, Sep 10 2006
  

       And I thought dot-matrix printers were slow.   

       Not to be confused with nail scones, which are entirely different.
RayfordSteele, Sep 10 2006
  

       ...or flocking snail cones, which is just kind of cruel.   

       [Lt_Frank], I just finished reading the Art of War, liked it.   

       [xenzag] , have a tasty quoissant, it is Art indeed.   

       Now if you do not teach them anything but you have an infinite number of snails, would they produce works of literature, given enough time?
zeno, Sep 10 2006
  

       I like the idea so + from me but I'm a bit worried that teaching snails to read and write will inevitably lead to the evolution of political awareness. I don't want to be slowly slimed to death in my sleep by a horde of revolting gastropods.
DrBob, Sep 12 2006
  

       Then don't vote conservative.
baconbrain, Sep 12 2006
  
      
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