Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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PCA

Personal Culinary Assistant
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Recipe books can be a real problem in the kitchen. They get splashed, covered in flour, and acquire mysterious jammy fingerprints.

But now there's a quick, easy and unaffordable answer to thise kitchen woes. Behold the BorgCo Kitchen Data Tablet.

The Data Tablet is a touchscreen device with a range of mounting options, and an RF link to a set of weighing scales. Optional links to the oven are also under development. The unit is WiFi equipped and internet ready, resistant to steam, hot fat, boiling water, and for some reason that R&D haven't seen fit to explain, opossum urine.

Simply select the reicipe you wish to cook. The system will display all the ingredients, containers and utensils you will require; then prompt you to weigh out the appropriate amounts at the appropriate times. A rising tone indicates how much you are adding to the scale pan, and then the system tells you when to stop.

The oven will automatically preheat, if required. A countdown timer is activated when cooking starts, and the display (and optional synthesised voice) will inform the cook that "You now have four minutes to peel and slice the carrots" or "Whisk the egg whites until I tell you to stop".

You can thus save huge amounts of money as you can now employ a poorly paid illegal immigrant to cook for you, and sack that expensive cordon bleu chef, yet still get excellent meals.

8th of 7, May 26 2011

The Huns got there first, [8th], with Thermomix http://www.thermomi...productprofile.html
Thermomix will amaze you with its ability to chop, beat, mix, whip, grind, knead, mince, grate, juice, blend, heat, stir, steam and weigh food. [infidel, May 27 2011]

[link]






       The Data Tablet looks delicious...
Grogster, May 26 2011
  

       //sack that expensive cordon bleu chef//   

       Ah, that explains why it needs to be resistant to opossum urine. Luddites abound. But are *you* resistant to opossum urine? Taken internally?
mouseposture, May 26 2011
  

       Sounds like a great iPad app, if only your oven spoke in some Wifi-able language.
RayfordSteele, May 27 2011
  

       This sounds like a great premise for a comedy sketch.   

       "You have two minutes to beat the egg whites."   

       "You have 30 seconds to sift the flour."   

       "You have one minute to beat the egg whites."   

       "You have 45 seconds to measure two cups of milk."   

       "You have ten seconds to beat the egg whites."   

       "You failed to beat the egg whites in time. Now your soufflé is completely ruined. You idiot."   

       "Your oven is on fire. You have five minutes to call the fire department."
ytk, May 27 2011
  

       Needs to have an ED-209 voice.
RayfordSteele, May 27 2011
  

       We were considering either Holly, or HAL-9000 ...   

       <2001>   

       "Open the oven door, Hal".   

       'I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that. "   

       </2001>
8th of 7, May 27 2011
  

       "How much longer before that egg's poached, Hal?"   

       "Just a minute ... just a minute...."
mouseposture, May 28 2011
  

       "In a soundproof oven, no-one can hear you scream."
infidel, May 28 2011
  

       Scales, appropriate amounts, pre-heated oven. Is it possible Clarence Birdseye is being channelled?
fried dwight, May 30 2011
  
      
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