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Parachute suit pursuit

Extreme horizontal indoor skydiving.
  (+15)(+15)
(+15)
  [vote for,
against]

Picture a skateboard style half pipe about thirty feet high and twenty feet wide, with a steel grate floor that allows the air being blown upwards from huge turbines to pass through it.
Now stretch the length of the half pipe to a kilometer, shape it in a figure eight, and segment the walls with trampoline sections.
The starters pistol cracks and several, parachute suit clad, contestants begin a fifty meter dash along one of the padded upper edges of the course to vault themselves into the air-stream.
This is a full contact race, so the side wall trampolines can be used to rebound and body check an opponent, and if a contestant is knocked over one of the side walls they will slide without harm down the other side but be disqualified. Timing and agility will be important factors because the racers bringing up the rear will have the opportunity to T-bone the leaders as they zip through the center of the figure eight.

conceptual sketch http://s68.photobuc...l&imgAnch=imgAnch17
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 04 2004, last modified Jul 11 2006]

Trampolinical Basketball http://www.halfbake...inical_20Basketball
Damn, I'm good. [yamahito, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Vertical wind-tunnel http://www.airkix.c...s_it_work.asp?css=1
So, make it 20 times bigger... [MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 07 2008]

These guys are up for it! http://www.telegrap...g-indoor-moves.html
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 23 2013]

[link]






       Totally sick! I love it! [+]   

       P.S. bad link
Klaatu, Nov 29 2003
  

       Ok, how's it now.   

       It's a good link now, 2 fries. Neat sketch.
Fishrat, Nov 29 2003
  

       I wanna try! Where do I sign up?
gabe, Nov 29 2003
  

       Like a slip-'n-slide for adults
Letsbuildafort, Nov 29 2003
  

       The point is to cross the finish line first or what? Will I get pulled for wearing propeller shoes? Can I rip an opponents suit, rendering them flightless? How much of the event must be spent airborne? How many contestants are on this 1k course? Have you done any environmental studies on the effects of a concentrated updraft?   

       So many questions, so little lift.
phoenix, Nov 29 2003
  

       I love it! Vaguely similar to an upstart American sport (airing on Spike TV) called slamball. Trampolines have been added to a basketball court, and hockey-style checking is not only allowed, but expected from the goalie. ++ Great drawing too, BTW.
gardnertoo, Nov 29 2003
  

       Trampolines on a basketball court? I'm convinced we've done that one here, before...   

       <link>
yamahito, Nov 29 2003
  

       Wow, so many loose ends, so little time.
[Phoenix] Yup, first one to cross the finish line is the winner. How many laps? I dunno. We'll have to see how long it takes to do one.
<Can I rip an opponent’s suit rendering them flightless?>
Damn straight, it's full contact.
Propeller shoes are a no no, but I imagine that the flight suits will evolve to make for some incredible maneuverability and aerial acrobatics.
The entire race would be spent airborne if you are lucky or very good.

There will be no basketballs and the trampolines are for creaming opponents or using rebound to cut an inside corner for passing. I also think that there will be a way to use the trampolines to increase flight speed but I'm not sure how yet.
  

       A good flyer may be able to gain some altitude, then dive down into a trampoline at an angle that would send them rebounding at incredible speeds.
KLRico, Nov 30 2003
  

       Beans are the answer...who needs poxy trampolines when you have bean power.
silverstormer, Nov 30 2003
  

       baked beans, has beens, human beans, jumping beans?
po, Nov 30 2003
  

       Baked. The beans not the idea.
silverstormer, Nov 30 2003
  

       Bean there.   

       I like it, but I haven't quite got it all: what does //if a contestant is knocked over one of the side walls they will slide without harm down the other side// mean?   

       P.S. Bad link (sigh)
galukalock, Nov 30 2003
  

       The tops of all the walls are padded and the far side or outside walls of the course have a curved slope, so if you get knocked over a wall you would just slide down the other side.
Thirty feet or more would be quite a drop.
I'm not sure why the link opens for some and not for others. I haven't figured out yet how to shrink the size of the file and it's bloody huge. If I click on Actual Pixels the image enlarges so much that I am looking at a section about the size of a dime in relation to a sheet of foolscap.
  

       Link works fine for me. Parachute suit pursuit looks like a hoot.
waugsqueke, Nov 30 2003
  

       Damn, I already gave my 'Yes Yes Yes! vote out for the week. Guess I'll have to break out the Total Spasmodic Orgasm vote.   

       What happens to the airstream at the figure 8 crossover? Seems to me that the wind would be blowing against itself?
RayfordSteele, Dec 02 2003
  

       I hesitate to add my vote next to Ray's spasmorgasm, but very nice and I wouldn't want to be in the middle for a head on collision, but I'd love to try it in a down hill kind of format. +
k_sra, Dec 02 2003
  

       Finally, a sport I would actually ENJOY playing! (not counting bungee jumping, parachuting, and scuba diving)
EdZ, Dec 02 2003
  

       The air only blows straight up. It's the tilt of the person that causes forward momentum. Kind of a balancing act.
Oh yeah, I'm the only one who gets to wear spiked gloves.
  

       As long as I get to wear a cape. Heck, I can see whole personalized latex wardrobes for this. American Gladiator, eat your heart out.   

       Heh.. "spasmorgasm:" gonna have to remember that one for later.
RayfordSteele, Dec 02 2003
  

       Sounds awesome. How about productizing a mini-version with remote-control cars or hovercraft (using air or magnetic repulsion), for a real-life WipeOut. I'd buy one for next XMas. ;-)
mannby, Dec 03 2003
  

       you'd need some pretty wide curves, either that, or turn the airflow inward a bit in the corners (liked a banked roadway). I'll have to vote against the "figure eight" form, as a tracking maneuver when performed properly can generate horizontal speeds approaching 90 mph. Two bodies impacting at those speeds, even at 90 degrees apart, would have a closing speed of over 125 mph, which would almost certainly be lethal. (I say almost, because I know of a guy who hit the ground in full freefall without an open parachute, who managed to survive (he spent 18 months in a full body cast, though)) but + for the general concept.   

       (I suppose, if you choose to actually wear a parachute, you could pull the ripcord and be quickly blown out the top to avoid a collision...)
Freefall, Dec 03 2003
  

       Who needs the holland tunnel expressway when you got this? I like it. +
sartep, Dec 03 2003
  

       Great Idea!!! But how do you propel forward... minus the beans??
ahzie99, Dec 03 2003
  

       You could work around the figure 8 collision by quadrupling the power of the fans on two sides of the crossing. Can you say YEEEE-HAW?   

       Actually, do that randomly throughout. You'd probably have to mark them, so contestants would know not to approach them at an angle...
darksasami, Dec 04 2003
  

       Instead of a "crossroads" on the figure-eight, compose the 8 of two touching circles, so that when you get to the crossing, everyone is heading in the same direction, but can veer off to the left or right depending on which circle they want to traverse.
friendlyfire, Dec 04 2003
  

       Oh, man. This sounds freakin' awesome! I wanna cry. WHY DOESN'T IT EXIST? MY LIFE HAS NO MORE MEANING!
koolcj291, Jan 20 2004
  

       This is an absolutely great idea. They already have vertical wind tunnels for training skydivers, but this "wind alley" would the best. Definitely would need to wear a cup as well as a helmut.   

       You could also have people using large skateboards or surfboards to skate or surf through the air. That would be even more of a challenge, and it would look cool.
ZomGlo, Feb 10 2004
  

       This actually seems a bit safer than the snowboarding on snow half-pipes. And the conceptual drawing looks a bit mellow compared to the mondo(teenspeak for large, huge, not small, dangerous) jumps at the snow resort near my house. However the speed and height, along with the fact that it can be used in the summertime, in warm climates, makes this an excellent idea. I like it.   

       BTW, I am the old salmon, I have just changed schools and forgotten my password.
Salmon v2, Feb 10 2004
  

       The conceptual sketch bears a striking resemblance to the special stage on Sonic the Hedgehog 2. Put a few floating mines in there and you're on to a winner.
spiritualized, Feb 11 2004
  

       I want this sport to exist and become very popular. So popular that they build an amateur facility near me, so I can just zip around the track every now and then.
DonBirnam, Feb 11 2004
  

       What about attaching batwings or some sort of caped armpits to the jump-suits? (wrestlers do this all the time, you know...) Extra lift, fashion possibilities, and of course, room for sponsors' logos.
MuddyBuddy, Feb 13 2004
  

       What happens in the event of a power cut? Do all the players go through the grated floor like chips? Or is there some kind of emergency air bag system covering the floor?   

       Fantastic idea, though I'm sure there is an extreme sport where you wear baggy overalls and use an upturned jet engine to float like this. But you don't race and I can't remember what it's called.
atomicpenguin, Feb 14 2004
  

       yep, great concept, but would prefer contact to be of a non violent nature, and the figure 8 would be too dangerous with flyers tracking across each other, however a "Fly-over ramp" could be constructed, by sloping the half-pipe floor up towards the cross-over point, a flyer with enough forward momentum , could fly across the top of the lower half-pipe..I'm sirius!!
siriusness, Feb 14 2004
  

       Sorry, I am going to build this rightaway.   

       How much does it cost to steal and patent someone elses idea?   

       This is such a fantastic idea. As someone with an interest in the psychology of games, I can add that this one would be high on the list of "tunnel-womb-death experiences". The tunnel should be rather dark and look unending, which would increase the primordial experiences of returning to the womb and being drawn into death.   

       This game has great potential and it would be very feasible to actually build the infrastructure. It would be on the expensive side, I think, but so are modern water parks.   

       Great sketch too +++
django, Aug 27 2004
  

       Heck, if you can build a golf course for less than 5 mil, it's only because you're building it in Paraguay or something.   

       This is awesome. And much more watchable than golf.
shapu, Aug 27 2004
  

       Bun for the sketch [2 fries], I've never seen you draw before - you're pretty good.
wagster, Jul 17 2006
  

       Thank you Wagster, but the end of one more day on my hands and knees I have trouble seeing the ability as anything more than another shining example of squandered potential. [bris] was right, I have been a fool...of Magoo-ian proportions.   

       Awesome sketch + buntastic idea = bump and bun.
theleopard, Feb 07 2008
  

       My anno seems to have disappeared , however my bun remains from 2003.   

       Goodun!
skinflaps, Feb 07 2008
  

       Brilliant idea - book me in.   

       One problem is that you are going to need some very, very hefty fans. A regular vertical wind-tunnel uses humongous motors and fans, and huge amounts of ducting, just to create an air column about 12 or 15 feet in diameter (see link). Your circuit looks like it's going to have at least twenty times that floor area.   

       Brilliant idea, though.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 07 2008
  

       Reminds me of Wipeout without the vehicles.
theleopard, Feb 08 2008
  

       How the heck did I miss this one? Brilliant!
doctorremulac3, Aug 27 2014
  

       In case of a power cut (and I know it's 10 years later), design the fans with enough inertia that they only slowly spin down, keeping enough air moving to give the players time to land.
MechE, Aug 27 2014
  

       + for the groovy drawing.
cudgel, Aug 27 2014
  
      
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