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Parachutist Slide

Adding excitement to the boring world of parachuting
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(+5, -2)
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I personally don't know a lot about the sport of parachutery, but to me it seems that the whole "Jump out of a plane while thousands of feet up in the air" part at the very start seems kind of boring. Therefore I propose a retractable slide that can be protruded from the back of the plane. This way, any would-be parachutist can have a fun little excursion before being spat out of the back of the plane into the much less exciting freefall.

The slide would of course have to be of the full tube variety, so as to not affect the parachuterer while slipping along the passage.Of course the slide would also be designed to be as aerodynamic as possible to minimise the change in handling of the plane. And you would slide down it fine, provided the plane is traveling at a constant speed.

Of course if for some reason you think that the actual freefall bit would be fun enough in itself, you could use the slide as an aid to any newbie parachutisers that get too afraid to jump. "You don't want to do it? Fine, just go down this slide instead". No-one would suspect a thing.

quaero curvus, Jun 04 2006

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       They would willingly and happily leap into a tube pointing earthward with a gaping semi-vacuum void on the other end.
jellydoughnut, Jun 04 2006
  

       New parachutists generally have their parachutes attatched to the planes, for in case they freeze up and don't pull the handle to open their packs. This would necessitate the connecting wire being very long and could easily get caught up in the tube.
hidden truths, Jun 04 2006
  

       Marvelous idea. May we also have a swingset that can be lowered and operated below a helicopter?
epicproblem, Jun 04 2006
  

       or above a helicopter...Mwa-ha-ha- ha-ha-haaaaaa...
jellydoughnut, Jun 04 2006
  

       At the ranch I went to they use such an old plane that you're delighted to jump out of it. Possibly they do this on purpose.   

       Your slide solves another problem which is that most inexperienced jumpers have the tendancy to ball up with fear, which will lead them into a sommersault. That's why they make you do a tandem jump the first few times (well, that and lessening the chance of death since the gentleman on your back will pull the ripchord if you forget). I like the idea - bun.   

       But [jellydoughnut], why so eager to kill me?
pigtails_and_ponies, Jun 04 2006
  

       how about a cannon instead? could be a bit messy with a helicoptor though.
akgeo, Jun 06 2006
  

       In relation to [hidden truths]'s comment, aside from the fact he's being a pedantic git, the rip chord could easily be connected to the end of the slide. Also, the slide could either actually protrude from the plane, or be inside the plane going from a high area downwards to out of the bottom, if the plane is big enough.
quaero curvus, Jun 12 2006
  

       They put amusement rides on the top of skyscrapers in Las Vegas, why not rides out of airplanes.
AH, Jun 12 2006
  

       \\the rip chord could easily be connected to the end of the slide\\. In theory, but I'd really advise against it. A static line rip cord is fairly easy to tangle up. In a normal jump the jump master could either pull the parachutist back in, or sever the cord. Neither of which would be possible if you placed the cord out of reach. Sorry, but a [-] for safety.
hidden truths, Jun 15 2006
  
      
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