h a l f b a k e r y
The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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We've all seen well known people/politicians/actors surrounded by their bodyguards: large burly men; the more famous a client, the more they need a periscope to see where they're going.
But what if you're *already* somebody of Schwartzeneggian proportions ? You don't want your fans comparing, or
confusing you with your men.
Presenting the Pickpocket Defense System:
We will surround you not with weightlifters, not with blackbelts whose voices are out of synch with their mouths, but with Artful Dodger types, wiry, inconspicuous men and women, and children with lollies who blend into any crowd; their purpose is not to stop attacks, simply to make sure that any would-be assailant has been secretly disarmed, allowing you to floor them at your leisure with publicity-generating ease.
*Always* get the first punch in when your stalker tries to attack you with a carrot instead of the stiletto he was sure was in his pocket just a minute ago. A "worried fan"<cough> can run up to "make sure you're alright" and presto! there's the knife the guy was carrying complete with fingerprints for the police.
A little looking-the-other-way and the system can pay for itself too, depending on how large the crowds you're travelling through are.
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||I was picturing some sort of gruel cannon.
||That would be gruel and unusual punnish meant
||The pair of scissor terrorists would now be alive, with this
system in place...
||That would frustrate the "peaceful activist" movement (as
Nell Burton likes to call it)