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Piranha Dishwasher

Nothing to do with the early 80’s band of the same name. Although these days they could probably do with the work.
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Piranhas. Voracious little buggers, aren’t they? Strip a cow to the bone in under 30 seconds, so they say. If only such powers could be used for good instead of evil…

Well, perhaps now they can, with the timely invention of the Piranha Dishwasher. It looks just like a normal dishwasher, but has a glass door so you can watch the little piscine terrors at work. Adjacent to the dishwasher itself is a tank filled with freshwater (because strangely, even though they’re none too fussy about what they eat, they do prefer their water un-condimented) and a couple of hundred needle-toothed fishy menaces. Load the machine with all your dirty dishes as usual, close the door and press the “start” button. Said piranhas are then unleashed into the dishwasher, and, in a fishy feeding frenzy, proceed to scour every last crumb of food residue from your dirty dishes. Through the glass frontage you get to see the water roil and bubble as these little devils do their stuff – then, after about ten seconds or so, when the water has calmed and the piranhas are just swimming about looking bored (but full), you press another button and water and fishes are siphoned back into their holding tank. Leaving you with an impressively clean set of dishes upon which you’d be proud to serve food to any visiting dignitary.

The deluxe version also incorporates a big box of kittens stored on the opposite side from the piranhas (because it could get ugly if ever the twain should meet), who, after all the water has drained away, will use their rough, barnacle-encrusted tongues to add a final perfect shine to all your kitchenware.

lostdog, Jul 06 2003

[music2]'s link as a link http://news.indepen...ry.jsp?story=422336
"Anglers in northern Italy find new bait to catch river Po's giant catfish: live kittens" At last, the truth comes out. [phoenix, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

(??) Piranha Hard Food Disposal System http://www.gsaappli...er/dishwashersX.htm
Possibly not involving live fish, but check out the features on the last washer in the list. What are the chances of that? [lostdog, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

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       G++d
thumbwax, Jul 06 2003
  

       So it's the piranhas eating my socks. You know I never figured that one out, thanks.
imagin8or, Jul 07 2003
  

       And on a related, kittens-and-carniverous-fish note , please see http://news.independent.co.uk/europe/story.jsp?story=422336 unless you are of a sensitive disposition.
music2, Jul 07 2003
  

       Conserve water. Use army ants.
feedmewithyourkids, Jul 07 2003
  

       I think you will have food problems - I don't leave enough food on the plate to feed 100 piranas - and likly not 2. So, I think this is better suited as a secondary function of the display fish.
my-nep, Jan 03 2004
  

       Just pray that one of those buggers does not remain in the system when you are done washing. I hope the warranty includes medical insurance. A solid +
nomadic_wonderer, Feb 02 2004
  

       So they skeletonize your dishes down to the bone (china)? Interesting...
joeforker, Jul 23 2005
  

       Is it bad that I'm amused by the concept of kittens being devoured by piranhas?
MikeOxbig, Dec 12 2005
  

       Why are the kittens toungues encrusted with barnacles? Have they been living under water for a long period????
Minimal, Dec 13 2005
  

       Well you see [Minimal], kittens and barnacles have a symbiotic relationship. The kittens provide transportation for the barnacles, while the barnacles allow kittens to shine dishes, as all cats are obsevive compulsive and like shiny plates.
MikeOxbig, Dec 14 2005
  
      
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