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Shrimp that have been genetically engineered to breathe air and clean our scalps, skin and teeth. No more flossing! Many large African animals have birds that do the same thing for them, why do they rate more than humans?
Gastrointestinal Parasites
http://www.dmacc.cc...structors/human.htm
These are but a few of your potential passengers [UnaBubba, Feb 08 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]
(?) Some humour for you.
http://www.execulink.com/~rs/topten.htm
[UnaBubba, Feb 08 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]
[link]
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Why shrimp? You might as well start with something that breathes air and likes to live on our body in the first place. |
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Like dust mites, or head lice. |
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Having crawlies would take getting used to, though. |
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I remember a haunting short story (but not its name or author) about a man who one day receives a kind of "miracle slug" that lives off hairs and dead epidermal cells. The slug crawls across his body, always looking for new places to eat; the sensation is quit pleasant, like slowly being licked clean by a big, raspy tongue. The man becomes emotionally dependent on the slug; his social life deteriorates. When he finally goes out and meets someone, the accidental encounter between his new girl friend and his slug ends in a catastrophe. |
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Shrimp seem to be about the right size to begin with, and have many of the proper "tools" built in or easily modified (it's a simple matter of genetic programming...). Many species already pick dead organic matter out of rocky crevices, sort of like your mouth after a meal, and some arthropod species (like crabs) already spend time out of the water. However, crabs are the wrong shape. I envision the little shrimps sleeping or resting adorably curled up behind your ear, out of the way, yet close enough to take care of bidness. |
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If other animals get birds, I don't want some creepy crawly. Trained parrotts would be good for this, especially if we all dressed up as pirates. It would look entirely natural. |
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Actually, you have a number of cleaner parasites on you at this time. There are quite a few residing in your eyebrows. Miniscule little buggers. I don't have any, though. I'm special. |
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You're supposed to *eat* the yogurt? |
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Actaully, I had a pet parakeet that did just that, with no genetic engineering or training (that I know of). It would like salt off my skin if I had just been excersising, walk around on my head and search for tidbts, and so forth. Maybe if you had a whole fllock of parakeets it would havea really useful impact |
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Actaully, I had a pet parakeet that did just that, with no genetic engineering or training (that I know of). It would lick salt off my skin if I had just been excersising, walk around on my head and search for tidbts, and so forth. Maybe if you had a whole fllock of parakeets it would havea really useful impact. Or they would eat you, wither way. |
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Let me guess, you were Pariah7.5 until you started repeating yourself? |
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Rods, the gorillas are baked. They're called bodyguards or personal assistants. |
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There are many, many critters already serving this purpose, from tiny mites which live exclusively in the eyelash follicles and bacteria which live on the sweat and dead skin in your armpits and crotch and make both of them smelly to a huge host of greeblies which inhabit the gut. |
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The most disturbing I have ever read about is the maw worm, a gastrointestinal denizen which was common in the middle ages. Apparently its most startling trick was to poke its head out of the corner of your eye. |
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Getting used to them is not an issue, we all have them, all over us, all of the time. |
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*hrruuk!* Una! Did you /have/ to say that, about the maw worm?! Good grief! (..is there a way to unread?..) |
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not to be anal, but I'll be anal. Monkeys != gorillas != chimps. (neither gorillas nor chimps are monkeys; they are both different types of apes...just like us). OK, too much class for me... |
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I know a lot of primates who appear to be invertebrate... spineless politicians for a start. ...UB^) |
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Thanks for the links UB. I've got some wire wool and a bottle of disinfectant and I'm off to give myself a good scrub down right now. |
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Don't forget to do a high colonic with some Avgas or methylated spirits. Just stay away from flames naked for a while !! |
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Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's....eeeew... |
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For all practical purposes, I'd stick to theLesser Apes-- the lemurs of Madagascar.
/Fun Syntax Fact-oid: Upon the first typing of the above, I recommended 'the lepers of madagascar.'
Nothin' against lepers, you see... But huuzbugh.... |
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