h a l f b a k e r y
Clearly this is a metaphor for something.
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The idea is for pretzels that are interlinked so that the entire bag contains only one, uninterrupted chain. The pretzels would need to be redesigned to eliminate breakage--the shape would have to be streamlined, and they would have to be very dense (like Bavarian pretzels) and perhaps contain some
long-strand, fibrous (yet not unpalatable) reinforcement... shredded wheat? Corn silk? I'm sure the pretzologists can come up with something. Also, a yogurt or chocolate coating might further reduce breakage, as well as provide a means for color-coding the end link (though it would do nothing to help you find the end if you stop eating mid-chain.)
Also, wherever pretzel chains were sold, you could buy a special dip bowl for cheese sauce, mustard, and what have you. This bowl would have a pair of wide, spongy pulleys that would guide the chain over the lip of the bowl and down into the sauce, protecting it from sharp edges and tight bends. It will come with a bib, because the length of the chain between your mouth and the bowl will be dripping with sauce. I'm not sure what you'd dip the chocolate-covered pretzels in, maybe caramel.
I have a vision of me in my favorite arm chair, pretzel chain trailing from the side of my mouth, the bag somewhere on the floor out of the way. My atrophied arms are hanging limply off the sides of the chair, the only motion the occasional feeble flicking of my tongue as I draw in the next link. I am also wearing one of those beer helmets, because eating all those pretzels makes me thirsty. Sounds pretty good, right?
(?) Halfbakery: Chainios
UnaBubba's classic. [jutta, Apr 03 2007]
Prez Bush Chokes on a Pretzel
[veryvermilion, Apr 04 2007]
[spidermother, Jun 08 2011]
||The experience is ruined if there's a break in the chain, but I think I've hit upon the ideal packaging method: shellac the pretzels with a food-grade wax (so they won't get soggy) and sell them in a large plastic jar, submerged in the dipping sauce of your choice. The sauce acts as both a condiment and a viscous shock absorber, and the need for a special dipping bowl is obviated.
||Then one leak in one place in one pretzel breaks the chain. I don't like pretzels, but I like the idea of a chain of them. But making them could be tricky. [+]
||Good as a gag gift, open the bag and pull out *one*. Otherwise a nusiance, especially the dip mechanism.
||Remember when U.S. President Bush choked on a pretzel? (see link)
Just imagine if he'd had the pretzel chain... This nasty war would have been over with before it really got off the ground.
||For some reason I see this chain feeding into some sort of minigun.